I guess it's still hooked on but now it shoots too quick.

Amazing what willing and cheerful demand exists for certain services.

I've been reporting on the American Academy of Forensic Sciences annual meeting for five years now, and it never fails to give a vivid insight into some bizarre cultural practices - usually ones that end up with people getting mutilated or killed. This year's prize for the most eye-watering talk goes to Karen Berka Bruewer of KMB Forensic Consulting for "The ball's in your court: castration as a form of extreme body modification".

According to Berka Bruewer, there are at least 100 "cutters" in the US willing to lop off a man's family jewels. Their fee is less than the $2,000 or so typically charged by medical professionals who perform the procedure, and of course with none of the rigorous screening and psychiatric support that would usually precede it. In her talk (she says she will put the slides on her website at some point) she reviewed the handful of cases of illegal castration that have come to the authorities' notice in the past decade.

"Every forensic scientists should have at least one out of the ordinary memorable case," wrote Berka Bruewer in her abstract. For her it was Edward Bodkin, a cutter who had performed numerous castrations on willing men in his kitchen. His flatmate eventually turned him in to the police (if you share a flat with someone who is even slightly annoying you at the moment, just be grateful they're not a backstreet castrator).

When police searched Bodkin's home they found nine jars containing human testicles as well as video tapes of the castrations taking place, which he was selling through a publication called Ball Club Quarterly. He was convicted of practising medicine without a licence.

Speaking of good sports without balls, my 10-year-old's first hockey season wrapped up yesterday. His league was eight teams from Raleigh and two teams from Hillsborough, the latter two taking most of the kids from Durham and Chapel Hill and historically somewhat weaker than the Raleigh teams. It's a testament to the effect of the Hurricanes winning the Stanley Cup a couple years back that the Triangle can field ten teams of 9- and 10-year-olds. The two Hillsborough teams practiced together throughout the season, and when the traveling select team took the top kids from each squad for a few weeks, the rest of the two teams combined to form one team, alternating which squad was credited with the win or loss. Anyhow, Keegan's team finished the regular season atop the league at 13-1, with their only loss coming to the other Hillsborough team.

Last weekend, they held a round-robin to determine the eight teams that would go to the playoffs. The teams each played four games in two days, getting two points for a win, one point for winning each of the three periods, and one point for sportsmanship (awarded for having fewer than ten penalty minutes). Keegan played goalie for the first game (which he'll be doing full-time next season), coming away with an 8-2 victory. The two H'borough squads won all four of their games to snag the 1 and 2 seeds for this past weekend's tournament.

The first tourney game was a 14-0 blowout, and we learned after the match that the team they'd played would have been one of the two teams eliminated the previous weekend, except that the number eight team came up just short due to lost sportsmanship points when one mother was ejected from not one, but two games the prior weekend for screaming at the referees. Wouldn't you just hate to be that kid? "Tell your psycho mom thanks for knocking us out of the playoffs, dude."

Keegan's team (both Hillsborough teams are called the Sharks, his was Sharks 2) won their semifinal match 5-0 to advance to Sunday's championship game. We learned that morning that the other Sharks squad had similarly advanced, making an all-Hillsborough final but their semi-final had seen yet more poor role modeling. In this league, the kids aren't allowed to check or do slapshots (both come next year in the 11/12 league) and the Raleigh coach kept complaining that one of the Hillsborough kids was doing the latter. Apparently dissatisfied with the referee response, he eventually hurled a water bottle at the ref and predictably got ejected. He left, huffily taking his son with him, who happened to be their goalie. So the team got to play the rest of the game without their head coach and an empty net. Classy.

Anyhow, championship game. These were the two highest-scoring teams in the league, but they put on an amazingly hard-fought defensive battle. Halfway through the third period, it was still 0-0 with both defenses and goalies really playing lights out hockey. Then... two quick penalties leave Keegan's team having to go 1:45 with two fewer players on the ice. Keegan centered the three-man line, which successfully killed the penalty, and he came within inches—inches—of scoring a doubly shorthanded goal when the puck bounced off the goalie's glove and just above the net.

Back to full strength, Keegan's team managed to sneak one past the goalie with just five minutes left to take a 1-0 lead. Then with just under three minutes left, the other team tied the game. Could it all come down to a shoot-out? Well, no. Keegan's team managed to flip in the go-ahead goal with about 90 seconds left, the other team pulled their goalie for an extra offensive player, and Keegan's team scored an empty-net goal with 17 seconds left for the final 3-1 score. It really was very exciting, and the best both teams had looked all season long. WOO SHARKS! All the kids got medals and I'm pretty sure Keegan slept with his last night. He wore it to school today anyhow.

Headline of the Day

Bar Owner Cleared Of Genital Ripping Charges

When the going gets weird...

...you know it's election year. I expected there would be a sex scandal at some point in this campaign because, well, it's such a time-honored tradition. I did not, however, expect that the first one tagged would be John McCain. I'll take mental images I really didn't want for a thousand, Alex.

Yglesias:

Obviously, I don't know whether or not McCain had sex with Iseman. I suppose by "what the meaning of the word 'is' is" standards, he didn't even deny having had sex with Iseman. Certainly it'd be a bit rich of McCain to get outraged that anyone would even suggest that he might engage in sexual improprieties. After all, it's well known that he repeatedly cheated on his first wife Carol, of a number of years, with a variety of women, before eventually dumping her for a much-younger heiress whose family fortune was able to help finance his political career. That's well known, I should say, except to the electorate, who would probably find that this sort of behavior detracts from McCain's "character" appeal.

Meanwhile, there's all this stuff Salter doesn't deny (because, again, it's true) about McCain's questionable ethics. He wrote "letters to government regulators on behalf of the [Iseman's] client," he "often flew on the corporate jets of business executives seeking his support," he resigned as head of a non-profit when "news reports disclosed that the group was tapping the same kinds of unlimited corporate contributions he opposed, including those from companies seeking his favor," his Senate office and his campaign are run by corporate lobbyists, etc.

He just started a press conference about it. This should be interesting.

Discovered.

"The remnants of at least ten pyramids have been discovered on the coast of Peru, marking what could be a vast ceremonial site of an ancient, little-known culture, archaeologists say."

"Scientists investigating the icy waters of Antarctica said Tuesday they have collected mysterious creatures in the murky depths, including giant sea spiders and huge worms. (See video.)"

Mars' watery stage was probably too salty and acidic to support life as we know it. How do we know that? As a result of all our research into food preservation.

A giant snakehead, the Indonesian fish that walks on land and caused a minor panic here in the US a few years ago, was caught by a fisherman in a river in England. Okay, I know this last one isn't really big news, but the picture makes it all worth it.

You're complaining? But it was free!

What a bunch of ingrates. At £0.00, it's a bargain!

Ten friends found the abusive and sexually-explicit message on their bill at Joe Delucci's Italian restaurant in Bird Street, Lichfield, Staffordshire. Diner Clare Watkin said she thought it was written after they complained about poor service. The party from Walsall had gone to the restaurant on Friday. Owner Nigel Langsdon has begun an investigation.

Ms Watkin said: "I couldn't believe it. The bill read 'fish cakes', which one of us had for a starter, and it was written right above it - absolutely disgusting language. [...] I'd like a written apology from the restaurant and I'd also like some compensation. I think that the way that we've been spoken to is absolutely outrageous."

Please ma'am, keep it down or everybody will want one. Also, these were probably one of the tables of people screaming "M-Fer, I want more iced tea!"

Tastes like capitalism.

Scratch and sniff? Yesterday's news, kids.

Welch's is taking out full-page print ads in People magazine this month that give readers a chance to sample its grape juice by licking the ad. The front of the advertisement shows a huge bottle of the juice, while the back has a strip that peels up and off, with text that reads: "For a TASTY fact, remove & LICK."

Marketers are excited about the prospects for lickable ads, but also have to deal with the "ick" factor. Since magazines are often passed from reader to reader (think doctors' offices) there is a good chance that saliva could be left on the ad. Readers are supposed to peel off the entire sticker on the Welch's ad before licking, says First Flavor, the company that developed the technology used in the ad. If someone doesn't rip off the whole sticker, First Flavor says, the flap can't reseal, giving people an easy way to know whether the ad has already been licked.

The only place I ever see People Magazine is at the doctor's office, and I don't recommend licking much of anything in that lobby. Especially the receptionist. Jeez, what a hostile woman she turned out to be. Plus, she tastes like disinfectant.

Anyhow, I was amused by these two quotes from the article:

"A lot of people won't lick a magazine no matter how good it tastes," says Chris Heye, Welch's marketing chief. [...] "It's hard to forget whose brand you are licking," says Lisa Haverty, a cognitive scientist who works in the marketing field.

It's tentacular!

Hey baby, nice nose ring. You wanna see my suckers?

Electrofabric

This is pretty cool.

Georgia Tech researchers have taken an important step toward creating fabrics that could generate power from the wearer's walking, breathing, and heartbeats. The researchers, led by materials-science professor Zhong Lin Wang, have made a flexible fiber coated with zinc oxide nanowires that can convert mechanical energy into electricity. The fibers, the researchers say, should be able to harvest any kind of vibration or motion for electric current.

The zinc oxide nanowires grow vertically from the surface of the polymer fiber. When one fiber brushes against another, the nanowires flex and generate electric current. The researchers described a proof-of-concept yarn in a paper published this week in the journal Nature. They show that the output current increases by entwining multiple fibers to make the yarn.

By the researchers' calculations, a square meter of fabric made from the fibers could put out as much as 80 milliwatts--enough to power portable electronics. The development could make shirts and shoes that power iPods and medical implants, curtains that generate power when they flap in the wind, and tents that power portable electronics devices.

Teh funny.

Intentional: The McCain version of the Obama Yes We Can video.

Unintentional: The Clinton campaign should demand a refund and an apology.

Because I'm just classy like that.

Though they aren't great pictures of her, I'm ever so pleased that the shirts I ordered for Cassidy have arrived.

Heh heh. I restrained myself and didn't get this one.

The baddest home theater ever.

Holy cow.

Grappleless grappler grappling.

Dustin Carter is a high school wrestler with no legs, hands, or forearms. Which would seem to be a distinct disadvantage. But he's 32-1 and ranked ninth in his weight class for the state of Ohio. There's video of him wrestling here, and a couple of related videos in the sidebar of that page. One thing that strikes me watching them is that the guys he's wrestling are really at a loss, because wrestling is a very different endeavor when the other guy's got little to no limbs to grab and use yourself. And of course, neither the wrestlers nor the coaches he's facing have ever trained to wrestle a limbless opponent and couldn't very well practice it if they did, so have to try to figure it out as they go. Pretty great story, but totally weird to watch. This, though, gave me the crawling wibblies:

Freshman year — competing as a 94-pounder against 112-pounders — there were few podium appearances, but he had winning records as a sophomore and last year until he "got injured" as he put it. That injury actually was a little more serious than he makes out, said Hillsboro wrestling coach Nathan Horne:

"His bones keep growing, and the one in his arm pushed through the skin. He had to have surgery so they could shave it back."

Lori said he had tried to hide it from her and his dad: "But during a match, it finally came right through his skin and there was blood everywhere. They had to stop the match."

Gahh.

Canvas

Ariana Page Russell: "My own skin frequently blushes and swells. I have dermatographia, a condition in which one's immune system exhibits hypersensitivity, via skin, that releases excessive amounts of histamine, causing capillaries to dilate and welts to appear (lasting about thirty minutes) when the skin's surface is lightly scratched. This allows me to painlessly draw patterns and words on my skin, which I then photograph."

Via.

It's a great big world out there.

¡Yo soy la pequeña Adriana!

DIY tractor culture in Poland

"In the '60s Poland it was almost impossible to acquire a tractor in Poland. Agricultural machines produced by the country were available mainly for state-owned enterprises. For private farmers these tractors were too expensive and they weren't even robust or efficient enough for the mountain region. Out of necessity they constructed their own machines using spare parts and bits and pieces from whatever machines they could find. Including decommissioned army vehicles and pre-WWI German machines."

Awesome.

"The Journal of Mormon History recently published a new investigation into stories suggesting that the giant Sasquatch monster is really Cain, the murderous second son of Adam and Eve."

Tarheels in the news.

Take it away, Miss Fayetteville.

A Fayetteville beauty queen is accused of veering through traffic to block another car, then driving recklessly up and down a five-lane road in an apparent attempt to intimidate the other driver. [...] On Nov. 9, Tammy Abercrombie and her husband were headed to Lowe's to pick up some supplies for a home improvement project. They said they were shocked when — seemingly out of nowhere — Walters pulled out of Pinehurst Avenue, crossed three lanes of traffic and slid sideways to block another car on U.S. 15-501. Walters car bumped the second car.

"We were sitting there thinking, 'Oh my goodness, what is wrong with this girl,'" Abercrombie said.

The two vehicles were next to the Abercrombies, who watched as Walters got out of her car and started circling the vehicle she had blocked off, according to the police report. "She kept screaming, 'Get out of the car! Get out of the car!'" Abercrombie said.

Angela Thomas, 22, was in the other vehicle. Thomas stayed in her car, Abercrombie said. When Thomas didn't get out, Walters got back in her car and sped down the turn lane on U.S. 15-501, Abercrombie said. She turned around at the next intersection and sped back, stopping just short of Thomas' front bumper. Then she pulled around Thomas' car, went to another intersection and turned around again, Abercrombie said. This time, she sped back and stopped just short of the rear bumper. Walters was out of her car and yelling at Thomas again when an unidentified plainclothes officer stopped her.

That's all pretty awesome by itself, but here's the kicker:

The five-member board of directors that oversees the Miss Fayetteville pageant is expected to meet soon to decide whether to take any action. Walters won the pageant last year. The previous year, she didn't win, but she was chosen Miss Congeniality.

Moooving violation.

"The cow in the back seat was not seriously injured, but the second cow did not survive."

Damn.

Ari at The Edge of the American West wants to know what people think of this (and he's right that you should watch the hi-res version here first).

What do I think? I think it's incredibly powerful and could actually be a game-changer. This article says the Obama campaign had no involvement with the making of it, but they'd be smart to get it as widely distributed as possible before Tuesday. I may be ready to drink the Kool-Aid.

Update: Fontana Labs disagrees.