Doggedly searching for the crux of the biscuit.
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Three of the most intimate men in my life are Roberts. All three were born in November; two of them were born on the same date: today, the twenty-eighth day. Either of said pair will fancy themselves a grammarian or noter of wordage spelt rightly or not rightly, relatively and apropos by estimation of respective, educational expectations.
This is of course.
Happy birthdays, Roberts
Almost two years ago, I asked the internets to tell me the origin of a specific Beastie Boys sample, the mysterious "dick in the mashed potatoes" line from "B-Boys Makin' with the Freak Freak". The internets did not provide me with an answer, but it did reveal that lots and lots of people had been asking the same question, to no avail.
Well, thanks to Gaijin Biker, now I know: the comedian's name is Mantan Moreland, and it's from his album "That Ain't My Finger". The link there contains a link to the full track, too. It's like a weight has been lifted from my chest and I can breathe freely again.
Just in case you were starting to get in the holiday spirit and thinking all charitably of your fellow human beings, allow me to disabuse you of those positive thoughts.
Pictured above is Pony, an orangutan that was recently taken from a village in Borneo where she was shaved every other day, chained to a wall, and used as a sex slave. Which means that, at some point in the last year or so when you were, say, eating dinner, or reading a book, or playing "teh Haloz", somewhere, deep in Indonesia, a man had handed someone an undisclosed amount of money and was, at that moment, humping an orangutan. I'll give that a moment to sink in.
So, so very not right.
Jardak told the ABC his digital diminishment was sparked by a clash with a female motorist over a lane change. "She started flashing her lights, sticking her finger up, which didn't offend me too much, but then she started to use that [little pinky] gesture and I was offended by it," he said. "So I took offence, because, you know, any man would, and I got a bit angry and we had a bit of an argument, sort of, you know, gestures, and then I just threw my bottle out the window."
The "little pinky" gesture towards a man was akin to sexual assault, Jardak said.
"I just was angry and I threw it out the window, and I ended up hitting her car, and I get charged pretty much for being sexually assaulted by her, you know what I mean," he said. "If I said something about a girl, something she had, if I had mentioned they were small, I think they would be offended, too … I regret it now, but being assaulted has affected me and offended me."
Something seems affected, yes.
Reader 'R' sent me this article about swarming instincts a few days ago, noting it reminded him of a post I made three years ago about cows.
Y'see, the cows are just like the mormon crickets, except different. And John Locke and Thomas Paine were both right except that they were both wrong. And while human capacity for effective swarming is far inferior to that of many insects and small fish, cows are still just plain dumb. Even though I recently spent another weekend doing their work for them. Um. Obviously.
Anyhoo, this debate and all others, will be moot in not too long because there's no way this story won't someday be related to human extinction.
Researchers using robotic roaches were able to persuade real cockroaches to do things that their instincts told them were not the best idea... roaches followed them about 60 percent of the time, in essence deferring their own judgment as the preference grew more popular
Flash forward... ABC Exterminator, Inc's weekend office manager, to a junior field technician, Feb 21, 2028: "What do you mean one of them didn't come back ?!?"
This never happens in the movies.
31-year-old Jayson Decker, from Panama City Beach, was killed after he threw a loaded 9mm pistol to his friend James Cook, according the Northwest Florida Daily News. Cook caught it – and as he did so, he managed to fire a single bullet through his own left hand, and into Decker's head.
Oops.
Four years ago, a Pew Research Center poll of likely Iowa Democratic caucus-goers conducted from 11/25-12/04 showed the following levels of support.
Howard Dean 29
Richard Gephardt 21
John Kerry 19
John Edwards 5
A month and a half later, the actual caucus results were:
John Kerry 37.6 (20 delegates)
John Edwards 31.8 (18)
Howard Dean 18.0 (7)
Richard Gephardt 10.6 (0)
I'm just sayin'.
The news story is that a guy in an appeal hearing for indecent exposure decided it might be a good idea to go ahead and get comfortable in court, and got charged all over again. Fine. But what amused me was this:
"It appears he sees it as art, and views himself as a living work of art." The 60-year-old was in court to appeal against his conviction for running onto the pitch naked during a girl's soccer match and striking a range of "body builder poses", the spokesman said.
Man, what a picture. Crazy naked guy is always so much fun.
More Bindeez, Mom! More Bindeez!
Australian officials were forced to remove a popular toy from store shelves after it was found to contain a chemical that can have hallucinogenic side-effects. The toy, Bindeez, contains hundreds of small beads that are covered in a chemical which turns into the illegal drug gamma-hydroxy butyrate (GHB), also known as fantasy, when swallowed.
The ultimate way to bring your designs to life!
"A French court is having to ponder the sex of angels and what is a reasonable size for bull's testicles."
A comet that unexpectedly brightened in the last couple of weeks and is now visible to the naked eye is attracting professional and amateur interest. [...] The comet is exploding and its coma, a cloud of gas and dust illuminated by the sun, has grown to be bigger than the planet Jupiter. The comet lacks the tail usually associated with such celestial bodies but can be seen in the northern sky, in the constellation Perseus, as a fuzzy spot of light about as bright as the stars in the Big Dipper. [...]
Until October 23, the comet had been visible to modern astronomers only with a telescope, but that night it suddenly erupted and expanded. A similar burst in 1892 led to the comet's discovery by Edwin Holmes. [...] Scientists speculate the comet has exploded because there are sinkholes in its nucleus, giving it a honeycomb-like structure. The collapse exposed comet ice to the sun, which transformed the ice into gas.
"A toddler born with eight limbs and believed by some to be the reincarnation of the multi-limbed Hindu goddess Vishnu, is set to undergo a 40-hour operation to remove half of her limbs."
