Doggedly searching for the crux of the biscuit.
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Everybody should be enjoying our run as top of the food chain while it lasts, because Kriston just sent me a link to one of the coolest things I have ever seen. Something something overlords something:
Entomologists are debating the origin and rarity of a sprawling spider web that blankets a 200-yard stretch of trail in a North Texas park. Officials at Lake Tawakoni State Park said the massive mosquito trap is a big attraction for some visitors, while others won't go anywhere near it.
Spider experts said the web may have been constructed by social cobweb spiders, which work together. Or it could be the result of a mass dispersal in which the spiders spin webs to spread out from one another. Texas Forest Service entomologist Joe Pase said the massive web is very unusual. On the other hand, Texas A&M University professor John Jackman said he hears reports of similar webs every couple of years.
That's all interesting, but you really need to see the slideshow to get a feel for the scale of it.
This recently sold for nearly $10,000 at auction, which was only half its estimated value. Take a guess what it is before you read on.
If you guessed 12,000-year-old fossilized walrus penis, pat yourself on the back. From the same article:
BBC reporter Andrew Harding has visited China's only "penis emporium", a restaurant called Guolizhuang. It serves hundreds of gourmet penises to wealthy businessmen and government officials each day. Its speciality is a multi-species penis platter that features a shiny grey dog penis, complete with clammy testicles, the twin members of an unfortunate snake, and the huge salami-shaped manhood of a donkey, which is, incidentally, "very good for the skin". Sheep, horse, ox and seal willies sit next to the dark, shrivelled penis of a Manchurian reindeer. Other delicacies available on request include bull's perineum, aborted reindeer foetus and - if you've got money to burn and a few months to wait - tiger penis, priced at more than $5000.
Mmm, bull taint. Bonus points awarded for the following quote: "Most Beijing diners prefer their penis raw". I'll let you supply your own punchline.
Whew. We had enough people (although more would have been helpful), the rattlesnakes kept their distance, and aside from one flat tire and a disconcerting hissing noise emanating from otherwise functional brakes the truck did all runs asked of it. Those grapes are somebody else's problem now. I hear people like the wine; it seems to sell pretty good.
Here's a link to a few snapshots from the adventure. Somehow the most sacred and central times don't get caught with the camera; we take work really seriously but take eat and drink even more-so. Nonna Gobo's spreads never fail to amaze. Grandpa can't quite do the heavy lifting like he used to but the best half of what's in Nonna's spread was coaxed out of his garden. Oh, and Froz, friends, and family can put back some serious vino, especially CEO Unk's marvelous homebrew.
Calaveras County meetup next August, anyone?
Here's a nice picture of the other night's lunar eclipse as it looked from here in The Southern Part of Heaven.
Earlier this year, I linked to a story about the US military handing out soccer balls in Iraq in an attempt to create some goodwill with the locals. Like everything else we touch in Iraq, it went disastrously wrong. Well, they tried it again recently in Afghanistan, and while they managed to avoid the screw-up that doomed the first episode, it still didn't come off without a hitch.
The U.S. military regrets any offense it may have caused by handing out a soccer ball emblazoned with the name of Allah on it as part of a public relations exercise in Afghanistan, a spokesman said. At least one of the balls — which were dropped by helicopter to children in Khost province in eastern Afghanistan on Friday — carried a small picture of the Saudi Arabian flag. The flag features in Arabic script the Islamic declaration of faith, which contains the words Allah and the Prophet Muhammad.
Villagers were "upset and angry" when they saw the ball, said Khost governor Arsalah Jamal. "They wanted to demonstrate, but we explained to them it was a mistake," he said Monday.
Muslims treat with the utmost respect any printed matter containing verses of the Quran or the name of Allah or his prophet on it. Most would find the idea of kicking a ball emblazoned with those two names as deeply offensive.
I think the lesson here is pretty clear: Americans don't know jack about soccer and should stick to more familiar sports.
Harvest 2007 starts tomorrow morning at dawn. Hope enough hands will be available to get everything picked... Hope... Not sure if the stray cow that got into the vineyard yesterday damaged much; first glance seems she was more interested in the neighbor's irrigated lawn. Dumb cow. Truck usually runs. Most of the boxes hold together despite their age and the plastic buckets, well, more than half still have handles. Truck usually runs, really. Haven't seen a rattlesnake in at least 3 weeks and the only scorpion encountered, last weekend, was way up by the house... In the house, actually, but nowhere near where we'll be working. Plenty of food and drink on hand. Truck usually runs... Please, truck, run.
With all those planets spinning around it, dependent on it, the sun can still ripen a bunch of grapes like he has nothing else in the universe to do. Let's see how he did...
So, after four years of insisting that Iraq is not like Vietnam, Bush now says Iraq is like Vietnam. And either way, that means we should stay. Yielding the floor to Yglesias:
Unenlightening as Bush's analogies may be, they do serve as an interesting sign of the times. For years, war-supporters derided any efforts to draw parallels between Iraq and Vietnam as unwarranted, now they're eager to draw them. The reason, most likely, is that while the hawks lost the war in Vietnam and eventually even lost the debate over the war, they believe themselves to have eventually won the larger political battle as Ronald Reagan embraced Bush-style revisionist accounts of the war in southeast Asia as part of his march to the White House in 1980.
For months now, many conservatives have been fundamentally positioning themselves for the post-war era, readying the arguments that will blame the failure of the venture in Iraq on its opponents rather than its architects. That Bush himself has chosen to join them is, perhaps, on some level the clearest reflection of the reality that the president knows perfectly well that the war is unwinnable, and blame-shifting now the best hope for saving his historical legacy.
Precisely so. More good discussion of this in the comments at Unfogged.
Under plasma-friendly conditions, inorganic dust can organize itself and behave like DNA.
An international team has discovered that under the right conditions, particles of inorganic dust can become organised into helical structures. These structures can then interact with each other in ways that are usually associated with organic compounds and life itself. [...] They can, for instance, divide, or bifurcate, to form two copies of the original structure. These new structures can also interact to induce changes in their neighbours and they can even evolve into yet more structures as less stable ones break down, leaving behind only the fittest structures in the plasma. [...]
"These complex, self-organized plasma structures exhibit all the necessary properties to qualify them as candidates for inorganic living matter," says Tsytovich, "they are autonomous, they reproduce and they evolve."
Plasma-friendly conditions occur in space and on earth during lightning strikes, which offers a plausible mechanism for abiogenesis.
"A show called Circus Of Horrors lived up to its name when a dwarf accidentally glued his penis to a vacuum cleaner."
Jazz's greatest drummer, Max Roach, died Thursday, eighty-three years after being born in eastern North Carolina. Pictures, videos, and audio at the link.
Update: Three-hour WFMU tribute show.
When Koji Nakamura mixes up a margarita cocktail, he adds a special ingredient - mayonnaise. "Mayogarita", a white drink with a hint of the creamy dressing, is one of several cocktails Nakamura serves in his "Mayonnaise Kitchen" restaurant in suburban Tokyo, which features mayonnaise on everything from toast and spaghetti to fondue.
You can blame Kelly Jo for drawing my attention to this. Mostly, I wanted to post the picture below, which is captioned: "Mayoty Dog, which tastes like the vodka-based cocktail Salty Dog but is served in a glass with mayonnaise on its rim instead of salt, is pictured at the Mayonnaise Kitchen restaurant in western Tokyo."
I honestly do love mayonnaise but, um, no.
Is there anything duct tape isn't good for?
Police say Kasey Kazee walked in to the store with duct tape wrapped around his head to conceal his face. Fortunately, store manager Bill Steele had some duct tape of his own. Steel had a wooden club wrapped with duct tape that eventually sent the suspect fleeing the store. Store employee Craig Miller says he chased Kazee to the parking lot, tackled him and held him in a choke position until police arrived. An unidentified customer also helped.
Kazee said in a jailhouse interview today police got the wrong man and Kazee says he has no memory of going in to the liquor store. He also says he has no memory of police removing the duct tape. We asked Kazee how he could deny being the duct tape bandit even though police have photos showing Kazee with the duct tape on and then a photo where Kazee's face is revealed.
Kazee looked straight at the camera and said, "Do I look like the duct tape bandit to you?"
Miller says Kazee also had a t-shirt pulled up around his head during the robbery attempt. Miller says it reminded him of the "Cornholio" character from the "Beavis and Butthead" cartoon.
Oh yes, you know there are pictures and video (which must be watched for the interview with the suspect) at the link. Also, Kasey Kazee is a great name.
Gary Turner is stretchy, thanks to Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome.
"Jasmine Willis, 17, developed a fever and began hyperventilating after drinking seven double espressos while working at her family's sandwich shop. [...] Ms Willis, who had thought the coffees were single measures, said the effects were so severe that she began laughing and crying for no reason while serving customers at the shop."
Yeah, yeah, that's the ticket. It's medicine for when my junk itches.
"Regular readers of Metro online may recall that this isn't the first time that Andy has stood upside down with his head in a bucket on Princes Street."
The Iowa GOP presidential straw poll came and went, as meaningless as ever. Though it did have two real effects: it shook Tommy Thompson out of the race and it was the first time I'd heard of the candidate who came in 11th of 11, John Cox. Apparently he's a venture capitalist sort of guy who has held various leadership posts in the Cook County (IL) Republican Party, which has got to be one lonely, lonely hobby.
Anyhow, I went to look up his website since, y'know, John Cox Who? Like every other candidate in the field, he's the "only real conservative" running. In stark opposition to all those fake-ass posers, he likes guns and hates abortion and gay marriage and thinks we need to win in Iraq and my eyes soon began glazing over until I noticed he has a music video! Best I can tell, it isn't actually Cox singing, but it is a spoof of Led Zeppelin's "Immigrant Song". I don't think Mr. Cox likes immigrants much. Also, he should hire somebody who can hit those high notes.
Just when you think you've heard of every kink, South Dakota comes through.
Sioux Falls police Tuesday arrested a 60-year-old man for burglary and for what they believe is at least two years worth of video-taped public sex acts. Verle Peter Dills was arrested at his home at 2613 W. Bailey St. after a man who lives in the 1200 block of North Kiwanis Avenue chased Dills out of his yard Monday evening, police spokesman Loren McManus said.
The man saw Dills with a video camera and tripod and chased him for a short distance, McManus said. When the man returned home, Dills also returned with his camera and again was chased from the yard. He was seen entering the garage at 2613 W. Bailey St., McManus said. There police found the video camera and a "large amount" of 8mm and VHS video of Dills engaged in masturbation and sex acts with traffic signs near his home, McManus said.
Y'know, I'm a pretty imaginative guy, but I can't quite figure out the mechanics of this.
If you thought Mitt Romney's "Has he forgotten 9/11?" was cringeworthy, then gentlemen, start your cringines.
At an "Ask Mitt Anything" forum this morning in Bettendorf, Iowa, GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney was quizzed about whether any of his five sons are serving in the U.S. military. USA TODAY's Susan Page, who was there, reports that this was his response:
"The good news is, we have a volunteer Army and that's the way we're going to keep it. My sons are adults. They've chosen not to serve in the military in active duty and I respect their decision in that regard. ... And one of the ways my sons are showing support for our nation is helping me get elected because they think I'd be a great president."
Romney then spoke about how his son Josh and his family are driving across Iowa in a recreational vehicle to help promote the campaign.
Oooh, Mitt. Shoulda just said no and moved on to the next question. (via)
Being a lifetime Giants fan and someone who began following baseball long enough ago to still think of Barry Bonds as Bobby Bonds' son, i.e. at about the time Hank Aaron hit home run number 715, I feel like I should write... no, i feel like I should feel something about the new career home runs record. I don't.
I do find the baseball writers falling all over their keyboards, each trying to more creatively bemoan the hero-less state of baseball than the other, to be utterly annoying. To be honest, though, I've always found baseball writers to be a generally annoying lot. I much prefer box scores and statistics sheets to verbose analysis and overused metaphor. And I don't have much of a "just say no" soapbox on which to stand so it's tough for me to join them on theirs.
Hank Aaron doesn't hold the record for career home runs any more. Period. Most career home runs? Bonds, Barry, 756. They don't have a record for "most graceful HR king."
But on this first day of the new reign, I'd like to share a statistic. It's Aaron's accomplishment I always found the most impressive, especially given that he didn't just break Babe Ruth's record; by the time he retired he had shattered it. Hank hit 755 homers in his career but never hit 50 in any given season. He never joined that elite home run club with so many big names in it.
Is that quantifiable? Sure. Somehow. And by any standard devised to do so, Maybe Harmon Killebrew or Carl Yastrzemski or even Barry Bonds would sit at the top. But it's a great snapshot of Aaron's career and needs no further dissection.
Kircher Society: "On the small mountainous island of La Gomera, one of the Canaries, the children speak to each other from miles apart using one of the most unusual languages in the world. Known as Silbo, the whistling language of Gomero Island has a vocabulary of over 4,000 words, and is used by 'Silbadors' to send messages across the island’s deep valleys. Though Silbo was on the verge of extinction in the 1990s, the Gomerans have made a concerted effort to revive their language by adding it to the public school curriculum. Today 3,000 schoolchildren are in the process of learning it."
There's a video about the island narrated totally in Silbo at the link there. A vocabulary of over 4000 words, all in whistles.
Make a note of it! The Transportation Safety Administration made a change to the rules of what you can carry onto an airplane and it isn't idiotic! You can once again bring lighters on board with you. Hooray! And breast milk, though probably not if it's flammable. I'm noting for the record that during the period where they were not allowing cigarette lighters onboard, the TSA was collecting between 20 and 40 thousand lighters a day.
Since global warming is melting the ice caps, all I have to say is if you don't like the effects, don't produce the cause. But as long as we're watching them melt, there's nothing wrong with a little biological speculation.
"Take it as a morbid joke or an "exhilarating" art work: Laughing Gas Chamber (1996) is a cell in which two people can sit, inhale nitrous oxide and get high."
Woman Had Pencil in Head for 55 Years, Suffered Chronic Headaches
The Department of Homeland Security is developing a flashlight that will make a person vomit if you shine it in their eyes.
A biotech company in California is working to engineer bacteria that crap gasoline.
"Four galaxies are slamming into each other and kicking up billions of stars in one of the largest cosmic smash-ups ever observed. The clashing galaxies, spotted by NASA's Spitzer Space Telescope and the WIYN Telescope, will eventually merge into a single, behemoth galaxy up to 10 times as massive as our own Milky Way."
Ronald McDonald controls your children's brain stems.
For a million British pounds, you could have these sewn-together ducklings. More at Morrigan's website.
"That's what he gets for being out there at midnight or whatever."
Burning Man this year has invited some companies to be part of a "World's Fair of Clean Energy." Burners freaked.
"A police spokesman said: 'It was like a horror movie. His corpse was over the sofa. Giant webs draped him, spiders were all over him. They were coming out of his nose and his mouth. There was everything there one could imagine in the world of reptiles. Larger pieces of flesh torn off by the lizards were scooped up and taken back to the webs of tarantulas and other bird-eating spiders.' "
"'They taste a bit like crickets, only much better,' he added."
Seven-legged lamb! Surely this research is being funded by Greek restaurateurs.
A. Whitney Brown supports the troops and their fat, whining families. Via mtanga.
Update: Two weeks later, he supports them still.
I'm not a fan of Ron Paul; quite the opposite, really. He is what he has always been: a right-wing crank with a quiverful of plainly insane beliefs and who serves primarily to transmit ideas from the most disreputable and unsavory fringes of American politics. However, he is currently performing the invaluable task of pointing out the utter intellectual bankruptcy of the Republican presidential field, such that when he makes a completely obvious and sensible observation about Iraq, the rest of the panel explodes in incredulity before reeling it back in once they realize the audience is cheering him. His point is important though: the very people making dire predictions about what will happen if we leave Iraq have been wrong about EVERY. SINGLE. THING. they have ever said about Iraq. Which is not to say that the post-occupation period will be all butterflies and gumdrops, just that these people's opinions and judgments have been shown ad nauseum to be worth less than nothing and in any fair universe, they would only be greeted with hoots of derision and cream pies any time they open their mouths again.
And Mitt Romney's "Has he forgotten 9/11?" might just be the lamest moment of the presidential race so far.
Cosmo reveals summer sex positions that are likely to land you in jail or the emergency room.
This makes keeping up with the setlists a lot easier, I suppose.
In the last few weeks alone, Los Angeles has seen a rash of acts performing complete albums: Sonic Youth doing its 1988 noise-rock breakthrough "Daydream Nation" start to finish at the Greek Theatre (and opening act Redd Kross presenting its 1981 teen release "Born Innocent"), D.C. rockers Girls Against Boys doing 1994's "Venus Luxure No. 1 Baby" at El Rey Theatre and Louisville, Ky.'s Slint offering its influential 1991 indie opus "Spiderland" at the Henry Fonda Theatre.
In early September, Lucinda Williams goes for the concept crown by performing five shows at the El Rey, a different one of her albums performed each night -- topping a three-night version of the same idea Sept. 5, 6 and 7 at the Echo by singer-songwriter Ben Kweller -- and on Sept. 15, a Fonda show will feature Seattle grunge pioneers the Melvins and Mudhoney doing their '80s groundbreakers "Houdini" and the "Superfuzz BigMuff" EP, respectively. In Las Vegas, Iggy Pop & the Stooges will reprise the 1969 proto-punk big bang "Funhouse" at the Vegoose Festival in late October.
And this Friday and Saturday, the work that 40 years ago arguably galvanized the notion of an album as an artistic statement, the Beatles' "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band," will get a Hollywood Bowl performance by Cheap Trick, accompanied by the Hollywood Bowl Orchestra and an Indian-music ensemble.
I saw Hüsker Dü do this with the Warehouse album back in college.
This is probably highly politically incorrect, given the tragedy in Minnesota is still so recent, but the 5-12 casualties there are counted among the 120 average daily traffic fatalities in the US.
Oh, and GB, more than 10% of them were (2007) motorcyclists, half of whom weren't wearing helmets. Don't leave home without it.
I don't know why it seems to *always* be a Republican when politicians get caught in these things. The debauchathon is so one-sided, that one almost senses the hand of an angry god. But that's for another day's post. For now, I'd just like to recognize Florida State Representative Bob Allen as having offered what very well may be the very lamest excuse ever trotted out by a public official: I wasn't really offering to blow guys in a public restroom, I'm just scared of black people.
Vote to send the Spice Girls to Baghdad.
A Spice Girls spokesman has said that the group would "go anywhere in the world that gets the most votes - be it Baghdad or Antarctica." The group has already announced dates for about 15 concerts in early 2008, but the voting hasn't closed yet. So for all our readers in Baghdad, if you want to watch Posh, Scary, Sporty, Slutty, and Dopey lipsynch bad 90s pop in garishly shiny and skimpy attire, here's the link to cast your vote.
Via Spackerman.
Charles Simic becomes the United States' 15th poet laureate today.
Eyes Fastened With Pins
How much death works,
No one knows what a long
Day he puts in. The little
Wife always alone
Ironing death's laundry.
The beautiful daughters
Setting death's supper table.
The neighbors playing
Pinochle in the backyard
Or just sitting on the steps
Drinking beer. Death,
Meanwhile, in a strange
Part of town looking for
Someone with a bad cough,
But the address somehow wrong,
Even death can't figure it out
Among all the locked doors...
And the rain beginning to fall.
Long windy night ahead.
Death with not even a newspaper
To cover his head, not even
A dime to call the one pining away,
Undressing slowly, sleepily,
And stretching naked
On death's side of the bed.
Popped for her second DUI in three months, at least Amanda Lynn was properly dressed for the mugshot.
An expedition aimed at strengthening Russia's claim to much of the oil and gas wealth beneath the Arctic Ocean reached the North Pole on Wednesday, and preparations immediately began for two mini-submarines to drop a capsule containing a Russian flag to the sea floor. The Rossiya icebreaker had plowed a path to the pole through an unbroken sheet of multiyear ice, clearing the way for the Akademik Fedorov research ship to follow, said Sergei Balyasnikov, a spokesman for the Arctic and Antarctic research institute that prepared the expedition.
"For the first time in history people will go down to the sea bed under the North Pole," Balyasnikov told The Associated Press. "It's like putting a flag on the moon."
Russian scientists hope to dive in two mini-submarines beneath the pole to a depth of more than 13,200 feet, and drop a metal capsule containing the Russian flag on the sea bed. [...] The symbolic gesture, along with geologic data being gathered by expedition scientists, is intended to prop up Moscow's claims to more than 460,000 square miles of the Arctic shelf -- which by some estimates may contain 10 billion tons of oil and gas deposits.
The expedition reflects an intense rivalry between Russia, the United States, Canada and other nations whose shores face the northern polar ocean for the Arctic's icebound riches. About 100 scientists aboard the Akademik Fyodorov are looking for evidence that the Lomonosov Ridge -- a 1,240-mile underwater mountain range that crosses the polar region -- is a geologic extension of Russia, and therefore can be claimed by it under the U.N. Convention on the Law of the Sea.
Well, rules is rules, I guess. But I have a bad feeling about the environmental implications of Russia claiming any more of the Arctic.
It's always the ministers, isn't it?
Police said 58-year-old Tommy Tester of Bristol, Va., was wearing a skirt when he was arrested last week after allegedly relieving himself in front of children at a car wash. A report also accuses Tester of offering police officers oral sex and says an open bottle of vodka and empty oxycodone prescription bottle was found in his car when Tester was arrested Friday.
Authorities identified Tester as the minister of Gospel Baptist Church in Bristol and an employee of Christian radio station WZAP-AM, also in Bristol. (h/t: Ogged)
More detail and mugshot goodness here. Tester also makes a cameo appearance here, trying to have certain literature textbooks removed from public school libraries because "the demons of Hell have entered into the bodies of our educators." Kinda makes me wonder what-all's been entering into Reverend Tester's body lately.
