Any man who lost his teeth from a confrontation with a chainsaw is OK by me.

...Then one day I say, fuck orchids. I renounce orchids. I vow never to set foot in that greenhouse again. That's how much fuck orchids...

It's sort of like he's a walking stereotype.

Jaysus farking crispycritters, those are alligator snapping turtles and can break bones with a single snap of their jaws. I am about halfway through the video on the edge of my seat, waiting for this guy to draw back a bloody stump the next time he sticks his hand under water. Let's see what happens...

No stumps. Still, wow.

Snapperlicious!

"The Man Who Shot Snapping Turtles", in "Memoirs of Hecate County" by Edmund Wilson, was based on Dashiell Hammett, a neighbor of Wilson's. Another story in the book describes the narrator's wife's pussy, supposedly Mary McCarthy's. IIRC.

All Wilson, Hammett, McCarthy, or turtle fans should read this book. Th Valve won't tell you these things, but I will.

"I gotta find his hay-id with mah foot. That's the hard part." So awesome.

Thanks for the vicarious joy, apo. Catchin' turtles for fun AND dinner! What a life!

Maybe I'll take this up here - there's an expanding supply of alligator snapping turtle exotics in the marshes and rivers of the greater Tokyo area.

This reminds me of the first time I ever got to really pick your brain...you suggested we watched "Vernon, Florida". True life is so much better than fiction; you just can't make up these people.

Gatorade should be giving that man a shining endorsement!
Maybe they could release a special edition called "Turtleade"
"Fuck Tiger Woods... boys... we got the Turtleman!"

I wonder if this guy knows Jesco White, The Dancing Outlaw:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M35r1Q4c88I

Heh. Jesco was the first person I thought about when I saw this clip.

I guess the turtles aren't so tough unless you face their heads. He seems to be counting on them trying to flee and burrow in the muck instead of turning to face him. Their instincts work against them.

I've only caught a wild snapping turtle once - as a kid - with a net. My cousin and I were about twelve and paddling a boat around a swampy lagoon catching painted turtles. We caught 53 on our best day, letting them go later. The best was hauling that snapping turtle up in the net and bringing him to shore. You don't want to be on the business end of that bite.

I don't recall that we gave any sort of yell though.

We once attempted to put out of its misery a snapper tthat had been crushed by a truck. It's shell was shattered and it was bleeding badly.

My grandfather's .38 snubnose, through the shell just behind the head from about six feet.

It hissed and tried to come get me.

I kid you not.

Well, the .38 is not that powerful of a handgun. But still . . .

Undead Zombie Snapping Turtles: the marketing options are endless...as my nightmares will be.

Probably not an Obama voter, I'm thinking.