If you weren't blinded by devotion to Cult Obama, you'd realize that, of all people, JACK BAUER has proven Obama's a literal bastard, and thus can't be President due to the Constitution's little-known No Bastards Allowed clause.

Also, I now hate you for forcing me to learn about what could be very important for our country's future. As soon as they tell Michelle what they've found out, it'll be all over Foxnews! They'll single-handedly change the course of human history be ... crap, whatever they tell Malkin could very be all over Foxnews. They could single-handedly change the course of human history.

Fuck.

The mother lode is here.

I can prove without a doubt that John McCain was actually born Adolph Hitler and the kerning on his so-called birth certificate proves it!!

You know what I wish would happen? I wish someone would f with those loonies by throwing them false clues left and right. It would be hilarious and discrediting at the same time.

I mean it. You heard me computer literate people with too much time on your hands (I mean you, college student home for the summer!).

One year in college our frat went to our rival frat and tossed some firecrackers. Then an hour later we went back and tossed some more. Then an hour later we setup firecracker packs on cigarette fuses hidden around their house.

We went up on our roof to watch the fun. Sure enough when the first pack exploded their entire house poured out wanting to catch the culprits. As each delayed pack went off they ran around their house like idiots!

When they heard our laughing they came to our house with bottle rockets. Soon the grad student dorm behind us hosting the Iranian students started tossing out firecrackers yelling "Death to the Shah," "the Shah is an American puppet," and "Revolution! Revolution!"

Man, good times.

As long as I'm ranting - don't those idiots know the difference between the original and a certified copy?

For crying out loud. Anyone who has ever needed a passport knows that a certified birth certificate (AKA a certificate of live birth you morons!) knows the certified copy doesn't have to look like the original.

Sheesh. My original certificate looks like a college diploma. It is big with flourishes and inked copies of my feet. It has a nice big goldplated seal on it.

My certified copy is a small form printed out who knows how and stamped with a raised seal in the paper.

Idiots. Amateurs. Poseurs.

Lets say, just for the sake of being totally wacky, that Obama *did* fake his birth certificate.

Do people really think he wouldn't do it "right?"

God Damn people, read some frigging Heinlein for God's sake.

Watch them at work

I haven't the stomach... Has anyone brought up kerning yet?

don't those idiots know the difference between the original and a certified copy

What's especially charming is that even after a dozen people have pointed that sphincter-looseningly obvious fact out, others keep protesting that laser printers didn't exist in 1961.

Really, it's a wonder these guys don't get their heads stuck in pickle jars on a regular basis.

Really, it's a wonder these guys don't get their heads stuck in pickle jars on a regular basis.

I demand proof! Your comment's completely covered in kerning.

Apo knows the archetypal Freeptard.

A copy of Obama's real birth certificate may be found here. I trust this will put this matter to rest.

My favorite is when they zoom in on the text and notice fuzziness around the letters, and insist this is proof of photoshopping. Never mind that fuzziness around letters and other sharp edges is an extremely common artifact of the jpeg compression process, and can be found in just about any text-containing jpeg image on the net.

As an interesting aside, I will note that such wishful thinking is also common in Kenya. For example many people there think Obama was born in Kenya (wrong, his father was) and because of that he will grant unconditional immigration to the US for any Kenyan citizen (wow, dream on). I really hated bursting those guy's bubbles.

So at least wishful thinking is global. If that is any consolation. Which it isn't.

I want to ask them

(1) why does it matter whether his mother and father's marriage was or was not legal?

(2)Was he born to an American woman or not?

(3) Are they ready to explore the same questions about John "born somewherein Panama" McCain?

If the answer to 2 is yes, then Obama is a "natural born" citizen. Sorry to pop their bubbles, but the Court is not going to interpret that ancient text to exclude both of the current candidates for President.

Nahgahhappen.

And if he was, as they say, illegitimate, we have already proven that illegitimacy is no hindrance to becoming President. See Floridians, non-counting of votes of, 2000 Presidential election.

On, the point about who his mother is is only important if he was born outside of the United States. Since Hawaii is and was part of the United States at the time of his birth, there really is no debate to be had, you know, out here in the world of rationality.

I think it's safe to say that the statement "Little Green Footballs is setting the gold standard for bonkers on this" is true in pretty much any situation.

16: Undoubtedly.

Thankfully, during the maturation of my human spirit, I have transcended the old stupid game of partisan politics--that phony set up between what South Park analogized as the Giant Douchebag and the Turd Sandwich.

This year I lean toward Giant Douchebag--Barak Obama. That is because the Pimp Daddy State is far more offensive to me than the Nanny State. To hell with Turd Sandwich.

Yes it's fine to make fun of all the Tuckfard Republicans out there. Such easy target is to caricature. And funny too.

But

I wonder if some of us out there in the universe can get over that Pavlovian warm and tingly feeling in their pubic regions reserved for the Democrats. Surely there is a comparable group or two of shrill, bleating Democrats to heap scorn upon.

But let's all get together and be happy about one thing. Hilary isn't going to make it in unless she has it arranged to get Obama RFK'ed.

HA!! They even have the episode here you can watch. A classic. But for crying out loud, put the kids to bed first.

http://www.southparkstudios.com/episodes/103888

Senator Obama is NOT a Dirty Muslim!

"What you won't hear from this campaign or this party is the kind of politics that uses religion as a wedge," says Mr. Obama, while denouncing statements of him being a Muslim as a smear. Why is the presidential candidate who claims to be religiously inclusive is treating the word "Muslim" as an insult? Apparently, it is OK for Mr. Obama to be associated with terrorists like William Ayers or racists like Jeremiah Wright, but God forbid somebody would call him a Muslim! No, he won't stand for that kind of smear! We admit that most terrorists are Muslims, but most Muslims are not terrorists and the statement on Mr. Obama's website is insulting to hundreds of millions of people.

How could a man who discards his family heritage in favor of political expediency be even considered for presidency of the United States? Where are all the so-called "Islamic civil rights groups" like CAIR, MPAC, ISNA, MAS, etc. who are quick to defend every Islamic terrorist, but are silent when Muslims in general are being denigrated? Would Mr. Obama have the same reaction if someone claimed that he was raised as a Jew? We sincerely doubt that.

Muslims Against Sharia demand immediate removal of "SMEAR: Barack Obama is a Muslim" statement from the official Barack Obama's website as well as an apology for giving the word "Muslim" a negative connotation.

http://muslimsagainstsharia.blogspot.com/2008/06/senator-obama-is-not-dirty-muslim.html

Muslims Against Sharia is, first of all, a front for the worst sort of prejudiced Republican attack politics, and also, posting on the wrong thread.