apostropher: Lug nuts would still be acceptable.

January 16, 2008

Lug nuts would still be acceptable.

Posted by apostropher

Having already banned radar detectors, Virginia may soon ban trailer hitch testicles now that State Delegate Lionel Spruill has introduced a bill proposing a fine of $250 for any vehicle displaying replicas of human genitalia. Key quote:

"I'm going to do it," Spruill told reporters on Tuesday after the House session ended. "I'm going to bring them out here and show them to you till they tell me to stop."

Unfortunately, he's talking about rubber testicles and not his own, because that would be awesome. "If you don't mind seeing them on the highway, then you won't mind me taking mine out here in the Capitol Building, right? Oh look, it's noon. DEEZ NUTS ON THE TABLE!"

I'm wondering whether you could successfully argue before the court that the testicles on your truck's trailer hitch are replicas of bull testicles and therefore not covered by Delegate Spruill's bill? Maybe! I guess it would mean the Pubic Beetle is right out, though.

Comments

I hate the trailer hitch testicles with a passion. I don't know why, but they make me see red. When I see them, I want to snip them off and tie a little dangly tampon string in its place.

Posted by: heebie-geebie at January 16, 2008 05:18 PM

I understand that the proposed ban is actually directed towards bulls' nuts, and would cover anything "resembling" human genitalia. Maybe they'd be okay if they were modified to resemble the heads of stupid politicians ...

Posted by: TokyoTom at January 16, 2008 09:25 PM

Okay, I'm sure this violates the 1st Amendment ("plastic testicles are a form of speech!") but I'm completely on Spruill's side here.

Also, Heebie, you man-hater, you.

Posted by: bitchphd at January 16, 2008 10:44 PM

3: While you might share his distaste for trailer hitch nuts, presumably you wouldn't go so far as to support legislation, would you?

As a remedy, I'd say heebie-geebie's self-help castration approach is much preferable.

Posted by: TokyoTom at January 17, 2008 12:02 AM

I thought Virginia was for lovers.

Posted by: Gaijin Biker at January 17, 2008 02:13 AM

How is it possible that "TransWorldNews" has no stories whatsoever about Renee Richards, Jayne County or Janet Huckabee?

Posted by: shpx.ohfu at January 17, 2008 07:08 AM

5: No, I'd completely support making those things illegal. Sorry.

Perhaps this could be morphed for American shows to "show us your nuts!"

Let's do that immediately. In all situations. Starting now.

Posted by: bitchphd at January 17, 2008 04:40 PM

If you're riding a horse, would it count as a vehicle for purposes of the law, rendering all uncastrated male horses illegal? Because that would be funny.

Posted by: LizardBreath at January 17, 2008 05:24 PM

I find the trailer hitch testicles far less offensive than those stupid-ass yellow ribbons.

Posted by: apostropher at January 17, 2008 06:01 PM

Tying a yellow ribbon around your nuts to support the troops, on the other hand? Classy.

Posted by: LizardBreath at January 17, 2008 06:05 PM

13.

I'm hoping your nuts, like acorns, will eventually drop now that you are approaching the autumn of your life.

Posted by: Mr. Sticky at January 17, 2008 06:40 PM

God, I hate these squirrels.

Posted by: apostropher at January 17, 2008 06:49 PM

I'm okay with banning the yellow ribbons too.

Because I'm a fascist.

Posted by: bitchphd at January 17, 2008 08:07 PM

You should totally change the name of your blog to "BitchPhascist", B.

Posted by: M/tch M/lls at January 17, 2008 08:59 PM