That's only slightly less gross than the dude with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome.

Apo'...what if it had a stalk of crispy bacon sticking out of it and a couple of olive-sized sausages on a miniature plastic sword-shaped stick? Hmm? Well?

Oh - Man. This friend of mine was in Japan several years ago.
He was getting a slice of pizza in Tokyo, and the server asked him something. Not speaking Japanese - he figured they were asking him if he wanted cheese, or hot sauce, or something.

Well, he was surprised when the server put a big dollop of mayo right on his pizza slice.

It had never occurred to him that that was what they were asking him. Apparently, mayo is a pretty common topping for pizza in Tokyo.

Go figure.

Is mayonnaise in cocktails really as strange as it could be? Raw egg white is a traditional ingredient - especially in sour cocktails like the margarita (though not usually the margarita).

How is "Mayoty" a fun, interesting construction based on "Salty"? It makes no sense -- mayonnaise is not like salt, particularly -- and it's not parallel either. "Mayo-y" would make more sense but sound (aptly) atrocious.

as strange as it could be?

Well now, "as strange as it could be" is a high bar to clear. I mean, it's less strange than, say, a floating cat turd and a splash of infant cerebrospinal fluid in your Harvey Wallbanger.

But it still seems pretty strange to me.

Gaijin Biker, could you please act as our envoy and make them stop doing this? Please?

You know, when I came here years ago, I despised mayonnaise in all its forms, as all decent, right-thinking people do.

But recently, I've found myself eating it more and more. Seeking it out, even. "My, this broccoli is bland," I'll say to my self. "Sure could use a squirt of mayo." (Mayo comes in squeeze bottles here.)

I'm afraid they've gotten to me, too. But I'll be damned if I drink one of those mayogaritas. That's just wrong.

Meanwhile, this opens up new possibilities for a sequel to There's Something About Mary, in which Cameron Diaz mistakenly thinks Ben Stiller has mixed her a drink.

as all decent, right-thinking people do.

Are you kidding me? Mayonnaise is the bomb. It's what sandwiches want.

It's essentially congealed grease with eggs mixed in. Yes, I eat the stuff now, but I am aware of how low I've fallen.

And what sandwiches want is mustard.

Sandwiches just need lubrication. THAT's the true function of mayo.

Sandwiches just need lubrication

This is true, but it does not make K-Y Jelly an appropriate substitute condiment.

No but it DOES make the Supposi-Hoagie a powerfully quick and effective carbo-load.

Sandwiches just need lubrication. THAT's the true function of mayo.

Um, what are you doing with those sandwiches?

Hey, ALL guys love sandwiches...I'm just a little more creative than most.

Thanks KJ. Awesome find! Seems like the Mayo would coat your stomach and hinder the alcohol absorbtion. Which would be a good thing if you possess an unfortunate allele of alcohol dehydrogenase like many Asians do.

I'm not sure how it all got started, but the younger (and rounder) generation really does use mayo on just about everything and most restaurants make it available. As GB says, here it comes in handy squeeze bottles; these are soft and much easier to use than ketchup bottles back home, and certainly easier than the traditional mayo jar or single squeeze pack. Mayo especially seems a favorite with the greasy, fried food you can get at street fairs and Japanese fast food joints, like okonomi-yaki, octopus batter-balls and yakisoba.

What's weird is that it's hard to find a good sandwich here - which requires both mustard AND mayo - so the Japanese use of mayo is pretty much unencumbered by any sense of tradition. Pretty much the only familar use I see here is in potato salad and macaroni salad.

- which requires both mustard AND mayo

Looks like Japan just needs some of this.

I started eating french fries with mayo when I was in Europe.

Now I can't stop...

Yep, the Japanese love them some mayonnaise. I had a Japanese roommate for a while, back in the early 90s, and he was always whipping up fresh batches of the stuff to put on everything. He would often ask me if I wanted the honor of cleaning out the bowl. Now, I love fresh mayonnaise (although he always used some supremely bland vegetable oil as a base, and so his end product was less delicious than it could be), but I always refused because dude, come on, but all his Japanese friends clamored for said honor, and would use a rubber spatula to extract every last bit of it from the bowl and eat it right off the spatula. No molecule of the precious substance was left uneaten by our honorable visitors from the inscrutable orient.

Something I've wondered about: wasabi mayonnaise seems like a natural as a Japanese condiment. Does it exist?

a floating cat turd and a splash of infant cerebrospinal fluid in your Harvey Wallbanger.

I love you man, I really do, but I am NOT coming to your cocktail party.

I will, however, help you think of a proper name for the above said cocktail (first try: The Toxoplasm), and any others you might dream up.

And: the function of raw egg whites in those classic cocktails of yore was to help them get and stay all foamy when shaken (and probably also to add some nourishment to delay getting blotto too fast). The eggwhite doesn't really show up in the taste of the cocktail. A mayonnaise-rimmed glass or a mayonnaise-infused drink is a different thing altogether. The fat probably does enrich the taste, but still, not particularly appetizing to me.

#20: Who needs Mustardayonnaise when there's already Hellmann's Dijonnaise? Of course, I haven't found that over here yet, but I can get mayo and dijon mustard, so I'm set - except that it's hard to find good cold cuts!

#22: M/M, yes, there IS wasabi mayonnaise, but it seems rather new on the market here and there are suggestions that it was first "discovered" in NYC. Apparently there is now a commercial version in the US, but why bother when all you need to make a batch on your own is a tube of wasabi (and mayo)?

In Japan, of course, the sky's now the limit on mayo types. We ALSO have spicy cod roe mayo, bitter Okinawa gourd rind mayo, pumpkin/squash mayo, Hirami lemon mayo, sesame mayo, pickled plum mayo, crab mayo, anchovy mayo, olive mayo, dried tomato mayo, basil mayo, onion mayo, soy mayo, karashi (Chinese mustard) mayo, green shiso mayo etc. Some actually sound appetizing, except for the fact that they put this on various greasy foods and it's still tough to make a good sandwich.

Cat turds are only really appropriate in gin-based drinks.

26: Few things piss me off more than ordering a Toxoplasm and then having the bartender ask me "any particular brand of vodka?"

If I'd wanted vodka in my Toxoplasm I would have order a f#@king Vodka Toxoplasm, you stupid idiot!

Funny - I almost never use mayo, but met a few guys for drinks last night and the place served us a California roll and smoked vegetables, both covered with a cross-hatching of mayo. And this is a relatively expensive place. And then my wife picks up ham (three slices for a buck) and makes me a sandwich (mustard/mayo/ham/cheese/tomato) for lunch!

The sandwich definitely wins out, and it's time for a bite!

You can get wasabi mayo at Trader Joe's. I have a jar in my pantry right now.

I hear Trader Joe's also stock's Reese's Wasabi Mayonnaise Cups.

They do, but only the creamy wasabi mayonnaise ones, and I really prefer the chunky kind.

You haven't really eaten wasabi mayo until you've eaten wasabi mayo with chunks.

31: The best is a home-made batch, using wasabi peanuts roughly chopped and blended with Hellman's.