Not-as-quick hits.

There hasn't been much here recently, and with the basketball post-season getting underway, that state is likely to persist. I'm distracted. But for now, here come the links.

Meat tastes best barely cooked. This is a scientific fact, so don't try to argue with me about it. However, the health police say that eating rare pork carries a significant risk of giving you parasitic worms. Now, certain highly qualified pork experts might tell you that's nothing to be concerned about, but I know you people simply won't listen to reason. So, if you're really all worried about that, just pour some Coke on it to remove the worms. Problem solved! (Update: Snopes says this video is a spoof.)

From the Better Safe than Sorry Department: "Serbian vampire hunters have acted to prevent the very remote possibility that former dictator Slobodan Milosevic might stage a come-back - by driving a three-foot stake through his heart. According to Ananova, the politically-motivated Van Helsings, led by Miroslav Milosevic (no relation), gave themselves up to cops after attacking the deceased despot in his grave in the eastern town of Pozarevac." (h/t: McManlyPants)

Yes, yes, it's completely juvenile, but this dog's special talent doubtlessly makes him the envy of the pack. Good thing the Hundredth Monkey Phenomenon is a myth. In related news, giving handjobs to elephants is dangerous business.

"British scientists have embarked on a mission to study a huge area on the Atlantic seabed where the Earth's crust is mysteriously missing and instead is covered with dark green rock from deep inside the planet."

You're familiar with the Chick-Fil-A ad campaign with the cows advising people to "eat mor chiken," right? Well, there's no better way to sway people than leading by example. "The local vets said the cow was probably suffering from a disease but others said Lal was a tiger in his previous birth."