Doggedly searching for the crux of the biscuit.
He loves me, he loves me not...
A woman from Pittsburgh was surprised to find a package left on her doorstep by her ex-boyfriend. On the plus side, it was nicely wrapped in red bows and pink tissue paper, and came with a note saying 'I love you, Your Ben'. On the down side, it contained the severed head of a kitten.
Seriously. In the light of day, facing a judge, what kind of defense can he POSSIBLY offer for such idiocy?
Posted by: idlewild at February 5, 2007 06:17 PMIn the light of day, facing a judge, what kind of defense can he POSSIBLY offer for such idiocy?
Uh... "Your honor, I had to put that kitten head in the box. There's no way such a small box would fit the head of an adult cat."?
Posted by: lenhart at February 5, 2007 06:53 PM"Your honor, I was so overcome with grief that I wasn't thinking straight. Not only was I upset about our recent breakup, but my kitten had just died!"
Posted by: M/tch M/lls at February 5, 2007 07:45 PM"Your honor, if she simply would have left the box closed, the cat would also still be alive" They call it the Schroedinger defense.
Posted by: Cangrejero at February 5, 2007 09:52 PMMaybe he was just riffing on that "My Dick in a Box" song.
Isn't "severed head" redundant?
Well, the head could have been wrenched off, or blown off, or something like that . . .
Posted by: M/tch M/lls at February 5, 2007 11:08 PMonce it's revealed that the head belonged to the kitten that ate her parents, we will finally realize that felinocide is truly the greatest of all gifts.
also, note the moment of crack journalism in linked article: "This has been an extremely difficult case to work on,' she added."
Posted by: matty at February 5, 2007 11:19 PMNormally, you'd expect the woman to give the guy a little head.
Posted by: Gaijin Biker at February 5, 2007 11:47 PMSexist!
But it is strange for the guy to give the girl a little pussy.
Posted by: M/tch M/lls at February 5, 2007 11:49 PMhas Stephen Lynch been reached for a comment?
Posted by: Brian Ledford at February 6, 2007 10:49 AMMaybe he was just riffing on that "My Dick in a Box" song.
You beat me to it... I was gonna say something along the lines of:
Step 1: Cut the head of a cat
Step 2: Stuff that junk in a box
Step 3: Make her open the box
The linked article definitely wins best headline ever.
Posted by: bitchphd at February 7, 2007 03:53 PM