I came looking for meteorites, but all I found was dwile flonking (wrong url on the meteorite link.)

Oops. Fixed, thanks.

Did I forget to send you a link to this story?

You left it in a comment.

I'd thought it was Peter Cooke, but evidently it was Alan Bennett who did a sermon based on "My brother Esau is a hairy man, but I am a smooth man."

Smooth, man.

M/tch -- are there ducks in Texas? Because if so this would lend a whole new meaning to the term "duck blind".

Here's the conclusion of "Take a Pew":

Life, you know, is rather like opening a tin of sardines. We are all of us looking for the key. And I wonder how many of you here tonight have wasted years of your lives looking behind the kitchen dressers of this life for that key. I know I have. Others think they’ve found the key, don’t they? They roll back the lid of the sardine tin of life. They reveal the sardines, the riches of life, therein, and they get them out, and they enjoy them. But, you know, there’s always a little bit in the corner you can’t get out. I wonder is there a little bit in the corner of your life? I know there is in mine!

And so now I draw to a close. I want you, when you go out into the world, in times of trouble and sorrow and hopelessness and despair, amid the hurley-burley of modern life. If ever you’re tempted to say: ‘Stuff this for a lark!’, I want you, at such times, to cast your minds back to the words of my first text to you tonight: ‘But my brother Esau is an hairy man, but I am a smooth man.’

Yep, plenty of ducks in Texas (and there are also things known as deer blinds). Anyway I have a feeling this new bill (no pun intended) won't do much to threaten their population.

I wonder if suddenly the cheating-ass hunters will start trying to find a blind person (or maybe just a white cane) to bring along so that if they get caught using a laser-sighting device they'll have an excuse.

I also wonder if seeing-eye dogs can be cross-trained as retrievers.

Q: What do you call it when you go hunting with your blind pal?

A: Duck hunting!

While we're on the subject of blind hunting:

Q: What do you call a blind deer?
A: No eye deer.

Q: What do you call a paralyzed blind deer?
A: Still no eye deer.

Q: And what do you call a paralyzed, castrated blind deer?
A: Still no f%*king eye deer.

My sincere apologies for all the groans that produced.

Deer Santa,
al i wante fur cristmus es a bakun walet.
pleeeez

What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.

What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter; he won't come when you call him anyway.

But, you know, there’s always a little bit in the corner you can’t get out.

In point of fact, sardine cans do not have corners.

Well, not the new, improved ones anyway.

Hey, "infects insects" is a pretty good tongue twister. Try saying it five times fast.

I noted this on a prior thread, but he parasitic mind control fungus is analogous to the elite who have been manipulating the American people to do things that benefit the elite at the cost of us all - wars against "terror" terrify us and justify the unmonitored spending of hundreds of billions outside over any budgetary process, as well as new laws and extralegal practices that permit greater control but violate Constituional rights; wars againts gays get out the vote; and popular misgivings about the future used to stir up fundamentalist views that are easily manipulated. People should really pay attention to how elites are becoming less productive and greater bloodsuckers.

By the way, these types of funghi have long been known for their potent pharmacological properties. I saw an exhibit of fabulous hand drawings of a number of them recently at the lodge on top of Kumotori-yama, the highest peak in Tokyo.

This is one of the few blogs I know of where you can find brain-eating wasps, brain-eating fungi, and grain-eating zombies all in the same place.

"grain-eating zombies" makes me want to market a breakfast cereal called Grains, that has a zombie on the front of the box with a speech balloon containing the product name. The commercials are just the zombie lurching across the landscape, moaning "Grains... Grains..." until he gets to the breakfast table set with a milky bowl of our cereal with a few slices of strawberry or banana, at which point he sits down, tucks a napkin into his collar, and on eating his first spoonful transmutes into Joe Whitecollar, grinning at his wife and kids and putting the newspaper in his briefcase as he checks his watch.

Eh... Prolly been done already.

Maybe Hanes could do an underwear commercial along similar lines.

Or how about a brand of coffee named "Brane's"?

This is one of the few blogs I know of where you can find brain-eating wasps, brain-eating fungi, and grain-eating zombies all in the same place.

don't forget bacon wallets.