"Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see."

On the cricket thing, the statement that the worms inject chemicals into the cricket's brain, brainwashing it and forcing it to kill itself by jumping into the water has the tang of bullshit about it.

I'm not gonna pay $30 for the article (fuck you, Nature magazine, for your grotesque overpricing) but the concept of "brainwashing" a cricket is ludicrous.

Well, shpx, this site says:

One interesting habit of infected insects is that their behavior changes as the horsehair worm matures. Parasitized crickets are thirsty and go to water to drink.

Which isn't exactly brainwashing but seems possible. Then again, IANAScientist (or a cricket).

It's not "brainwashing", but there are definitely lots of examples of parasites having major effects on the behavior of their hosts.

Here's kind of a scary example. And here's a general article on the issue.

That's almost as much fun as the python versus crocodile story.

I don't doubt that having all of your precious bodily fluids diverted to an enormous parasite might make you thirsty and lead to to unusual behaviors associated with trying to quench that need; the notion that this consitutes brainwashing or that the grasshopper's immersion is borne out of a desire to end it all is anthropomorphism.

I don't know much about the cricket/gordian worm relationship. It could simply be the cricket's thirst mechanism that drives it towards water, but it could also be "mind control", i.e. the parasite releasing neuroactive chemicals inside the cricket that trigger water-seeking and jumping-into-water behavior.

Of course, you're right that the worm doesn't fill the cricket with existential despair or induce suicidal ideation or something like that, but I'd be willing to bet cash money that that's not actually the claim the researchers behind the Nature article are making.

Take a look at that second article I linked above, shpx.ohfu, it describes some pretty astounding instances of "mind control" by parasites in a wide range of host species.

Ah, here's an article describing research into the gordian worm. Some quotes:

A parasitic worm that makes the grasshopper it invades jump into water and commit suicide does so by chemically influencing its brain, a study of the insects’ proteins reveal.

. . . .

Now Biron and his colleagues have shown that the worm brainwashes the grasshopper by producing proteins which directly and indirectly affect the grasshopper’s central nervous system.

Perhaps "brainwash" and "suicide" are poor word choices, but the worm is actually controlling its host's behavior, not just making it thirsty.

Gah, I meant to include these quotes from the article as well:

Biron and colleagues found that the adult worms – those ready to prime their hosts for a watery death – altered the central nervous system function of their hapless hosts by producing certain molecules mimicking the grasshoppers’ own proteins. . . .

And grasshoppers housing the parasitic worm expressed different proteins in their brains than uninfected grasshoppers. Some of these proteins were linked to neurotransmitter activities. Others included those linked to geotactic behaviour – the oriented movement of an organism in response to gravity.

I stand corrected.

Answer me this: If the Gordian worm makes you jump in the pool, what does the Candiru make you do?

Wince and cross my legs.

But I hear it's a great cure for premature ejaculation.

Why doesn't the frog just eat the worm? Isn't that what frogs do?

The gross candy site reminded me of this one. It catalogs candy that actually tastes gross, not necessarily looks gross.

We're missing a bet here if we don't fill the moat around Baghdad with Gordian worms.

My impulse is to link T.R. Pynchon's "Disgusting English Candy Drill" -- next to which the linked disgusting candies pale to irrelevance -- but I hesitate around this crowd, thinking most of you are well versed in the mysteries of Gravity's Rainbow. But if any of you laughed at the linked site and did not immediately flash on the "Disgusting English Candy Drill", let me know and I'll do my best to rectify that situation.

Aw hell, just go read it already.

...I type, thinking to link to a reproduction of the Drill; oddly Mr. 'Po's comments screener does not like the (to my eyes unobjectionable) web site which hosts the excerpt. So you will need to type into your address bar: www dot olemichaelsen dot dk slash gravity.html

Ah yes, I think .dk domains got blocked after a spam tsunami from there. Here's a clickable link.

Thanks, 'Po! Just out of curiousity: were you previously familiar with the Drill, and did you immediately flash on it when you looked at the gross candy page?

And don't forget the Whizzo Chocolate Company.

Did you ever notice that Whizzo uses Iraqi frogs?

I was familiar with the Candy Drill, but with about 15 years since I read Gravity's Rainbow, I admit that I didn't immediately flash on it. I did, however, think of the Crunchy Frog.

I didn't immediately flash on it

Thanks. I feel like I've contributed something today.

I didn't notice the Iraqi frogs until I posted it this time.

I for one welcome our parasitic invertebrate overlords.

I for one welcome our parasitic invertebrate overlords.

They're here already, posing as Republicans and claiming to be the only ones with spines. With that, and by stirring up a clash of civilizations that requires their rule, they've managed to take over everything, manipulate us into all manner of obviously ridiculous policies and to ignore how they're bankrupting the country for their own benefit.

Please tell me that others can see these parasites too!