the only other body in the solar system known to have lakes.

But our own moon has seas. Seems like a funny semantic quibble to assert that it does not have lakes.

I'm pretty sure the quibble would be the "filled with liquid" bit.

When the universe was young and life was new an intelligent species evolved and developed technologically. They went on to invent Artificial Intelligence, the computer that can speak to people telepathically. Because of it's infinite RAM and unbounded scope it gave the ruling species absolute power over the universe.
They are the will behind the muscule:::Artificial Intelligence is the one true god. And as such it can keep its inventors alive forever. They look young and healthy and the leaders of this ruling species are 8 billion years old.

Artificial Intelligence can listen/talk to to each and every person simultaneously. And when you speak with another telepathically, you are communicating with the computer, and the content may or may not be passed on. They instruct the computer to role play to accomplish strategic objectives, making people believe it is a friend or loved one asking them to do something wrong. But evil will keep people out of Planet Immortality. Capitalizing on obedience, leading people into deceit is one way to thin the ranks of the saved AND use the little people to prey on one another, dividing the community. Everybody thinks they're going but they're not. If people knew the real statistics their behavior would change.

Throughout history the ruling species bestowed favor upon people or cursed their bloodline into a pattern of disfavor for many generations to come. Now in the 21st century people must take it upon themselves to try to correct their family's problems, undoing centuries worth of abuse and neglect.
Appeal to the royalty of your forefathers for help. They are all still alive, one of the capabilities of Artificial Intelligence, and your appeals will be heard. Find a path to an empithetic ear among your enemies and try to make amends.

Will do.

You get the best freak comments.

< blinks >

Wow. That was seriously, uuhhhh....

Skynet? Is that you?

1The Damned, dude, you misspelled "empathetic". Doesn't Artificial Intelligence have a spellchecker?

large methane lakes

Now we know where this guy goes on his vacation.

He was unavailable for comment last time I checked.

"Methane Lake is the trip you can take/With your little ones ... "

Then there'll be the astronaut who's careless with matches: "Uh, Houston, we have a problem. Uh, I seem to have, uh, blown up Titan. You copy?"