Wow. i mean, i've seen my corn snake throw up a mouse but GEEEZ....bet that thing couldn't eat for at least a week.

Dude! I said it wasn't a challenge.

Also, I am so not clicking that link 15 minutes before my dinner break.

NOT. CLICKING.

(I'll wait 'til I'm home.)

Dude, I'm clicking that link DURING DINNER.

Seriously. I'm sittin' here with a bowl of cheese ravioli 'n' grilled chicken in a pesto cream sauce, sippin' a nice li'l Gewurtztraminer (I don't know if that goes or not, but it's what we had cold), and I'm clickin' on that link.

How could I click on that link during dinner?

C'mon, it's a python yacking up a whole freaking hippopotamus. How could I NOT??

"Anaconda," not "python." My bad.

Isn't that lovely.

I love all the copyright warnings on the video Chopper linked to, as if someone is going to start selling pirated versions of a hippo taking a dump.

I still say it looks like a hat.

Eh -- the hippo makes a less attractive hat than the elephant. Too bumpy.

That's why I love this blog. Antoine de Saint-Exupery jokes.

That's why I love this blog. Antoine de Saint-Exupery jokes.

Actually, that was just a (thinly) veiled cock joke.

I mean, it's common knowledge what apostropher means when he starts talking about his "Little Prince".

I could totally go for a midget Yes cover band.

I could totally go for a midget Yes cover band.

And it's name would be: yes

Or how about a midget Devo cover band?

Name: Weevo

"Are we not men?" would take on a new poignancy.

Ooh! Ooh! How about a midget band that only covered songs by The Faces? They could call themselves The Small Faces!

Oh wait . . .

Maybe The Smaller Faces?

Littler Feat.

Littler Feat.

Or Little Foot.

How about some midget goth tribute bands:

Joy Battallion

4 Inch Nails

Skinnier Puppy

Bauhütte

Twisted Little Sister
Joan Midget
Partial Sum 44
The Rolling Pebbles
Mini Kravitz
The Bitsy Boys
Speck
Millijewel
Lessissey
Le Petit Prince
Snoop Puppy Pup
Eminimum
Bruce Springsteeny-weeny and the Lowercase "e" Street Band

Joan Midget

This must happen.

Portable Radiohead
Extremely Arrested Development
They Might Not Be Giants

Lighter than Aerosmith
Public Mini-me
Halfrika Bambaataa
Itty Bitty Dirt Band
Runt DMC

SMOOCH
Small Country
Def Kitty
Little Wee-Wee Chung
Joan Puddle-jumper
Notorious L.I.T.T.L.E
NOXS

Small Bill Broonzy
Blind Kumquat Jefferson
Little Richard

And: not covering any specific band, a midget Motown act called "The Diminutives".

Gentle Midget
Prince Crimson
Gang of Two
The Beastie Infants

In the hip-hop genre:

MWA
Fab 2'5" Freddy
A Clan Called Quest
Boogie Way Down Productions
Public Mini-Me

Ooops, I just noticed Public Mini-Me was already taken by that infernal Gaijin Bicycler.

Damn.

Midget Indie Rock:

Subsonic Youth
Dinosaur III
The Halfbreeders
The B-29s
Nephew Tupelo
Neutral Milk Bed & Breakfast
They Definitely Aren't Giants
The Dimness

Miscellaneous:

Three Puppy Night
or
Two Dog Night
or
Three Dog Evening

The Small Bopper
Kilometers Davis
Jefferson Hang Glider
Peck (yet another midget KISS tribute band)
Princess (a midget Queen tribute band)
T-Princeps
Counting Grackles

Also:

The Darned
The Arc Jerks
Black Pennant
Annoyed Samoans
Cantakerous Femmes
The Mildly Amused Mondays
Mono MCs
The Near Death Milkmen
Hank Williams III
The Yeah Yeahs
Injured Cab for Cutie
or
Death Cab for Nice Personality

And, I think "Tivo" would be a good name for a Television tribute band, midget or no.

House of Commons
Aluminem Balloon

The Near Death Milkmen

On second thought, maybe "The Pining for the Fjords Milkmen" would be better.

Just what is up with the Unfogged archives, apo?

And just out of curiosity, what's the longest comment thread you've ever had here on Apostropher?

Just what is up with the Unfogged archives, apo?

Well, they tried to do a fresh install of Movable Type at the new host, exporting the existing database and then re-importing it into the cleanly configured new installation. Unfortunately, MT renumbers the comments and entries when it does that. So, there has had to be some script manipulation to try to map the old comment URLS to the new URLs, which are longer due to additional subdirectories.

Last I heard, the issue was *mostly* resolved, with a few odd behaviors here and there. Also, certain posts from Labs were changed to 'unpublished' in the wake of the Ste/ven den Bes/te idiocy.

the longest comment thread

Probably one of the two from when Unfogged was down. Less than 100 comments, in any event.

10 Maniacs
U1
1 Live Crew
Microdeth
Lieutenant Governors of the United States of America

Meshortica.

I'd like to apologize in advance for this, but the all-midget version of the Butthole Surfers would be the Butthole Sniffers.

That is a damnable lie.

I'd like to apologize in advance for this, but the all-midget version of the Butthole Surfers would be the Butthole Sniffers.

And in that spirit (with prior apologies too), the all-midget version of the Rolling Stones should be the Waddling Stones.

Talib Smalli

and Mos Dwarf

nah... the Dwarf Star movement is better.

How 'bout Mos Elf?

Really Minor Threat
Fleetwood Powerbook
UB40 Inches Tall
Sub-Parliament
GWARves
Lowasis
Sir Mix-A-Little
Black Weeble Motorcycle Club
The Compact Cars
The Elfonics
The Doggie Doors
The Birdies
Deucey Chapman
Minivan Morrison
Wee-Tang Clan
Eric Clapounce

...and actually, Shortib Kweli works better than Talib Smalli.

Gajin bicycler

snort.

Shortib?

or Shortrib?

Runt DMC

This made me laugh out loud, really really hard.

Medium Star

Way Too $hort
XS Cool J
Cramped Master Flash
Mötley Düde
808 County
Mini-men / Midgetmen
Mini Pearl Jam
Bobbed Marley
Tadpole the Wet Sprocket
Grandson Volt
Bitty Politti
Kitten Power
Stray Kittens
Slightly Built to Spill

Starrowboat
Very Light Pink Floyd
Tin Zepplin
Hamlet People
Honeybee-Gees

And, from more modern R&B times, Kinda-assertive-D

Dujog Dujog? I don't know a lot of band names.

Mötley Päir?

Shortesthead

Emya.

Okay, maybe I better collect a few before I comment again.

Dude, I can't motivate myself to do this unless I get the instant gratification of posting a comment everytime I think of one. Therefor:

Dead Tafts

The Back Alley Boys
INSFISHNT
Newborns on the Stoop

Nircara

Dead Cuomos then. Sheesh.

The Novemberists
Ben Folds Four
The Artist Formerly Known as Duke

The Seasoning Salt Girls

...featuring Startling Seasoning Salt, Moderately Well-Appointed Seasoning Salt, Excercise Classy Seasoning Salt, Fetus Seasoning Salt, and Clove Seasoning Salt.

Pwesome!

Since I'm listening to a cover of "Friday Night and Saturday Morning," The Not Specials.

Slighter Kinney

And continuing on that theme:

The Slight Stripes
Slight Yoakum
Slightsnake
Slight Zombie

Likerboy

MeatSlice.

The Lovin' Thimbleful.

Jefferson Ultralight.

Hey apo, how come your comments aren't numbered, and one can't link to them directly, like over at that cool blog?

(Because it's excruciatingly important that I link or refer to the upthread comment containing "Jefferson Hang Glider" right now)

Aw, darnit. Um,

Billy Moddest?

Aw, darnit. Um,

Billy Moddest?

Not bad, not bad.

And your Jefferson gambit might actually be more elegant than mine, I just felt like being SALB.

I can't decide between Bikini Maim and G-String Kill.

No one has 25 Cent yet?

Actual name: Big Tiny Little.

Faster Pussykitten! Maim! Maim!

Robin's-Egg Blue Girls.

Extremely Crowded Hut.

Cambridge

my week with the amusement-injury club?

Miteloaf
The Mighty Mighty Underbosstones
Nirminivana
The Smallman Brothers Band
Little Audio Dynamite

My favorites by other people:

INSFISHNT
Meshortica
Shortesthead
Mini Pearl Jam

Millimeter Vanilli

Sigh Sonny

Li'l Dirty Bastard

Oops:

Lil' Dirty Bastard

Okay, this is driving me nuts. You have the comic strip Li'l Abner, yet the rapper formerly known as Lil' Bow Wow.

What is the rule for proper apostrophe placement when abbreviating the word "little"?

Gladys Squire and the Pipsqueaks

Elinel

Whispering Heads

Small Black
Bobbed Marley and the Whiners
Kool Moe Wee
Tossing Muses
Irony Dan
The Luke Warm Chili Peppers
The Sea and Cupcake

The Well-Meaning Brothers

Sam Reheate

Now I'm just being silly.

Horribly Drawn Boy
Smoldering Spear / Burning Toothpick
Kate Shrub
Soundbalcony
A Bit of a Hurry (Singer: Geddy Wee)
Barenaked Young Ladies

Flat Duo Midgets

100?

YES!

Okay, for the next 100, we're switching to the porn versions of band names.

First Entry: Stereolabia

Flat Duo Midgets

Hey, I know those guys! The regular-sized ones, that is.

porn versions of band names.

Revolting Cocks
Throbbing Gristle
Pussy Galore

Oh wait, those are real bands.

Boogie Downlow Productions
The New York Blow-Up Dolls
Mounting Crows
Poundgarden
Public Enema

Whew, better pace myself . . .

S&Eminem

Or should that be Essineminem?

Weener (could be Ween or Weezer)

Bob Dildo

Still a few more midget bands in the barrel:

Hut of Discomfort
Neil Yong and Eccentric Pony
Moist Moist Moist
Warm Warm Warmth
The Meat Fingerpuppets
Sosofinger
Coolplay
Grandsons of Hercules
Cypress Knoll
Jane's Predilection
Bachman Turner Third Gear
Poi Puppy Pondering
Green Afternoon

Wow, there was a power outage last night and so I had to stop, but I didn't expect everyone to drop the ball!

Sigh.

*picks self up, dusts self off*

Well, despite all indications to the contrary, there are even more midget tribute bands waiting to be formed:

Clap Your Hands Say Maybe
And They Shall Recognize Us But Not Quite Be Able To Place Us By The Trail Of Dead
Van Lessison
Camper Van Haydn
Arctic Lemurs
Slapmouth
John Colechoochoo
Cowboy Social Users
Soft Porno for Pyros / Articles for Pyros
Lipps, LLC
Gene Tolerates Jezebel
Freshman Sophomore
Lyle Likeit
Acquaintance Holly
Merle Peaked
The Transient Ischemic Attacks
Belle or Sebastien
Shallow Purple
The Doobie Cousins
Mony Like
Toni Braxpound
Midget Ur

And now on to the porn bands!

First category: Rap & Hip Hop

Afrika Bangbottom
Grandmastur Flesh
Whorehouse of Pain
LL Tool J
Cum DMC
Jizzas With Attitude
Poon Tang Clan (members: WZA, JZA, Ghostfacial Killah, Mastur Killa, Spraekwon, Inspectah Dick, O-God, Rhythm Method Man, Ol' Dirty Bastard (some names can't be improved upon))
Scott La Cock
DJ Jizzy Jeff & the Flesh Prints
Dangler Mouse
Sperminator X
De La Pole
Gangbang Starr
Bestial Boys

Geez you people are slothful!

Okay, here's a few more for inspiration:

Neil Barely Legal
REaM
Frauhaus
The yes! Yes!! YES!!es
Joy Multiplication
Load the Wet Pocket
The Jacksoff Five
Scenic Youth
They Milk Deadmen
Minor Treat

Let's get moving people!

Also:
Motörizedhead
Fatboy's Slime
Back Man Turn Her Over Drive
Ben Holds Five
Guided by Vices
Dinah's Sore, Junior
The Polyphonic Spew
The Semen and Cake
The Miss Fits
Blowing Muses
INXXXS

Porn band, or porn movie?:

Deep Purple Throat
Behind the Green Day
The Opening of Camper Van Beethoven
Debbie Harry Does Dallas

I am Curious Deep Purple

Ack. S/b: "I am Curious (Deep Purple)"

Hmmm, I seem to have seriously overestimated the demand out there for good porn band names.

But I'm not bitter.

Also:

Denting Pumpkins
Grumble Against the Machine

And I don't know how we missed Jody Foster's Militia.

Thanks Mrs. Breath!

Hope springs eternal!

That's the spirit!

I think I've been spoiled by the celerity of unfogged threads, but I guess apostropher (the site) is more a marathon than a sprint kind of place.

Well then.

ShortCake.

Aw come on, there would never be enough midget soul cover artists for a whole record label to specialize in that genre...

Aw come on, there would never be enough midget soul cover artists for a whole record label to specialize in that genre...

Clever, Kid, but I'm not biting.

Yet.

Of course, Booker T and the MGs is perfect just like it is.

And then there's Lowtis Redding and Wilson Crickett.

apostropher, I wish I could quit you!

Hey wot about the Duke Ellington Small Band?

that new category

Those are great, M/tch. The Lardigans. Heh.

Ted Hugent.

Those are great, M/tch.

Oh now you've done it.

Let's see now, where to begin?

Ah yes: most people are probably unaware that Memphis was also home to one the early premiere Soul Porn studios. Some of their most famous titles:

O, 'tis Reddening
Wilson's Packet
I Suck Haze
Rufus in Clara Thomas
Hooker Teen in the Men's Jeans

The name of that studio was, of course, StaXXX.

And while we're on the porn band tip, a few more I've recently become aware of:

Loose Spring Teen & the G-String Bang
Pearl Necklace Jam
Cock Tow Twins
Eddie Money Shot
The Small Facials
Meatload
The Prixies

Ack, "Davie Dowie" s/b "David Dowie" (last name rhymes with "doughy")

And a few more porn bands:

Kneel Young
The Ram Ons
Yo La Chingo

and midget bands:

Cocteau Only Child
Lieutenant Beefheart
Subprimus
Adjunct Dre

More morbidly obese tribute bands, please!

Well okay, if you insist:

Deep Fried Purple
The Sundaes
The Frying Burrito Brothers
Ass of Bass
Midnight Oily Snacks
Terence Trent D'Arbey's
International Bauhaus of Pancakes
Iron Chef Maiden
The Drive-Thru Truckers
Prussian Blue Plate Special
Blue Fried Oyster Cult

International Bauhaus of Pancakes is great. How about Porky Dan? and apropos of nada: Throbbin' Hitchcock.

Also: the restaurant Arby's has no "e" in its name. And neither does Terence Trent D'Arby, so your all good.

How about, Blue Oyster Po' Boy Cult.

The Meatles (first US album: Beat the Meatles)

Love and Broccoli (weak)
Jane's Eating Disorder

Elton Johnormous.

The Beached Boys.

Love and Broccoli

Oh, I know! How about just:

Love and Rocket (or Roquette if you prefer)

Although I'm dubious that anyone could get morbidly obese by eating too much arugula.

But your contribution is greatly appreciated. Less than 850 more comments to go!

MC 900-Pound Jesus.

Oh, and the Bearclaw Naked Ladies.
And the Backbacon Street Boys.

Elton Johnormous.
How about Elton Giancula?

MC 900-Pound Jesus
Nice.

Love and Broccoli
Love and Roquefort?

Love and Roquefort?

Bleu Cheese Traveller.

Bleu Cheese Traveller

Cool.

How about:
Camembert Naked Ladies

And to accompany:
Soup du Journey
Emerson, Lake, and Parma
Nine Inch Snails
Lawrence Whelk
Radioheadcheese
The Foie Tops
Phil Oxtail
Cabernet Voltaire
Pastry Cline
Depeche a la Mode

Also:
Supergras
The Grow Gros
New Kids on the Spit
Hüsker Fondü
Olivia Mouton John
Parmesan Lennon
The Happy Mayonnaise
De La Sole
The Polyphonic Brie

And speaking of French cheese:
Surge Gainsbulge

Fill-'er-up Collins.

And/or, Filet Collins

The Broad Kennedys

Question: Is my fear that Gary Farber has already blogged about all of these bands irrational?

Apostropher, have you killed this thread (and all my hopes and dreams with it)?

No, sorry. Apparently, the post is now old enough to qualify as an "old post" that gets comments held unless one has been posted within the last 48 hours. The email notification of the new comments said they were held, but I didn't notice. It should stay open as long as you keep posting comments.

It should stay open as long as you keep posting comments.

Oh don't worry about that, apo. Can't stop, won't stop!

There are a lot of Mitchet band names here.

Less than 850 more comments to go!

"Fewer than".

Regarding Jewish writer tribute bands, there already is a band called "Augie March", f'reals.

Can we go back to ensmallening or trivializing bands? Fortunately, odds are low that any one person will know what I'm thinking of with each band name alteration. CONTEST: Can you guess them ALL?

8 Horsepower
90 Day Boys
Microbiotic Ensemble
Anthony Less
The Videogame Spark
Region
Art Ensemble of Kankakee
Fights
Black Dahlia Assault
Boom (name of an actual band!)
Pages
HMO
Peavey
Ailing Brothers
Magnolia Emergency Generator
Shingle
Check Out that Octopus
Cymbal
Nap
Thread

That's enough for now.

There are a lot of Mitchet band names here.

Dude, you mispelled "midget".

Or did you mean "M/tchet"?

I meant what I said and I said what I meant.

Okay.

What the hell does "Mitchet" mean?

And you know b-wo, I appreciate your participation, and I admire your vivid imagination and all, but the whole point of the exercise is to change the names of actual existing (or once existed) bands/musicians, not just make up a bunch of crap. I mean I wish you would have at least made them sound even vaguely plausible. "Art Ensemble of Kankakee" indeed.

Next you'll be claiming that "what have I got in my pocket?" is a proper riddle.

And you know b-wo, I appreciate your participation, and I admire your vivid imagination and all, but the whole point of the exercise is to change the names of actual existing (or once existed) bands/musicians, not just make up a bunch of crap. I mean, I wish you would have at least made them sound even vaguely plausible. "Art Ensemble of Kankakee" indeed.

Next you'll be claiming that "what have I got in my pocket?" is a proper riddle.

Dammit, I even refreshed several times before reposting after my comment appeared to have been eaten.

Oh well, it just means we'll have to go to at least 1,001 comments. Tally ho!

I did change the names of actual existing bands, you snivelling Belgian. As you well know. Each listed name is a trivialization of a real band, honest.

You're just whining because you don't know what any of the answers are.

Gobblin' Hitchcock

You're just whining because you don't know what any of the answers are.

Hey, I was doing you a favor! Revealing the real names of these artists would reduce their obscurity, thus measurably lessening their, and by extension your, coolness.

Also, I was so impeccably sure that you would take the carefully crafted bait of "I wish you would have . . ."

Damn. I guess there's still some surprises left in you yet.

Also also: Mitchet, qu'est que c'est?

Hey, how about Jewish hip-hop tribute bands. You know, kind of like 2LiveJews, but funnier?

Hey, great idea, PC!

Chabad Ranks
Another Chabad Creation
Hillel Cool J
Cypress Hillel
Kool Mohel Dee
Dr. Dreidel

Rush Hashanna
Gefilte Phish

GB's back!

And if you're going to wander outside the hip-hop genre, then:

Menorah Jones
Big Star of David
Loxie Music
Blini Kravitz
LatKISS
Flock of Bagels
Queensrÿe

I guess those last several are both Jewish and morbidly obese tribute bands.

M/tch, you don't seem to understand that you need a semicolon at the end of your html entities, thus: ü. From their consistent absence in your posts I infer that you're using IE, which is wrong.

In fact I did not understand that a semicolon was needed. Thanks for the tip.

Does IE put them in automatically or something? And if so why don't other browsers?

I agree with you about the wrongness of IE, but my workplace frowns on us peons installing software on their machines, so I don't have access to anything else at the moment.

Also: NERD!

What about Treyf Leppard?

Or, Einstürzende Neugoyim

Jewlia Eisenberg. Oh wait, that one's for real.

Just when apostropher went away for awhile, I was posting a comment that went a lil' somethin' like this:

Thanks for the info, TMK. And also thank you for all your contributions to this noble endeavor thus far. Keep up the good work! Now can you tell me what in tarnation benben meant by "Mitchet"?

Now let's see:

KoCher
Echo and the Blini Men
Erik B and Purim
Mott the Kugel
Bachman Turner Passoverdrive
Emerson Kreplach and Palmer
Hasid Vicious
Men With Hats
The Bristie Boys
Talmudhoney
Pedro the Zionist

And from the Schtaks Record Label:

O Bris Red Dong

what in tarnation benben meant by "Mitchet"?

He's just taunting you, M%tch.

He's just taunting you, M%tch.

That bastard!!!

The Silver Jews

Don't you mean The Bronze Jews?

Einstürzende Goybauten
Art Goyd
Boyz II Menorah
Ark Psychosis
Badly Drawn Goy
Genesis
Bethlehem
Iron & Manischewitz
Torah Takemitsu

Eberhard Weber Grill

Fucking Gramps

Blixa Bargelt

William Shekelspare (a case of lucus a non lucendo, 'cause he's got no shekels to spare for you).

201!

Less than* 800 more comments to go!

*Be vewy vewy qwiet, I'm baiting wolfsons.

The Flying Luttenbakers
Bread
Bred Zeppelin
Walleye Span ("it was this big!")
Incredible String Cheese Incident
Durutti Frutti
Tim Berne's Bakeoff Totale

On to 1,001!

Some Chosen Bands, in various sizes:

Reuben Blades
Def Sephard
Goy George (well I guess technically not Chosen, but in that vein)
Ashkenazi Sinatras
Matzo the Hoople

Some Big-Boned Goyim Artists:

Juliana Phatfield
Herbie Hamhock
David Byrnaise
Agent a L'Orange
Plump Biscuit
Gang of Petits Fours
Berliner
Courtney Lovehandles
BBQ-Tip
Gravy Diggaz
Julian Coppa / The Beergut Explodes

"Boyz IV Men"

HA!

Comment #206 gets it exactly right.

And the sequel is, of course:

Boyz VIII Men

Also:

Stone Temple Harlots
Felonious Monk

M*tch -- I initially read that as "Fastidious Monk" which I think is a cool name for a neurotic, Felix Unger-esque Thelonious cover group.

I'm thinking Fastidious Monk would slavishly attempt to copy exactly every single note of any given Monk recording.

And now for some Jewish Rock:

Sammy Hagar
The Christ Killers
Pig Bad Voodoo Daddy
De Li Soul
Treyf Cab for Cutie
Menorah at Work
Waylon Wall Jennings
Mohel Haggard
Pickul Harem
Pumpernickelback
Warsaw Geto Boys

And a few Gentiles too:

Altar Boy George
The Jewish Carpenters
The Artist Formerly Known as Prince of Peace
TriniT-Rex
Stone Templar Pilots

Keepin' the mediation at bay:

Methodist Man
Sonic Youth Group
'Til Shrove Tuesday
Lent Biscuit
Easter Pussycat
The Apostle Service
The Arcade Friar
Virgin Blossoms

Today's line-up:

Stray Catechisms
The Stone Rosaries
Iggy Pope
Flock of See Bulls
Ministery
PreaCher
Pastor Pussycat
Lutheran Van Dross
Präyer*
Pulpit
Missionary of Burma
Faith Some More
Gnostic Front
The Rolled Stones
The Dekons

* Yes I know there are no umlauts in "Slayer". But by all rights there should be.

Back to the Jewish bands:

Big Daddy Cain
The Stray Katz
Kvetch Against the Machine
Limp Brizket
Korned Beef
INXoduS
Kabbalah Voodoo
Schticks
Rabbi Robertson
The Dixie Shixas
Built to Spiel
Treyf No More

Since midget tribute bands seem to be making something of a comeback:

Living Black and White
Analog Underground
The Scorpeons
3'6" Mafia
No Dought
Human Little League

I'm proposing a new category: Geezer Tribute Bands

For example:

The "You kids get out of my Yard"birds

Of course, all the other categories are still open too.

Have at it.

Free riders, the lot of you!

But I live to serve:

Golden Age Fan Club
Prune Tang Clan
My Life With the Prescription Pill Kult
. . . And You Will Know Us as the Frail and Dead
The Tragically Fractured Hip
Counting Crows Feet
Social Security Distortion
Menopause at Work
En Reader's Digest
Iron Spinster
Senior Threat

And serve:

...And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Drool
Old Age Bran Club
Revelations
Omegaville
Vitamin at Work
Neutral Milk of Magnesia Hotel
X-Lax
Iris DeMentia
Stonedeaf Roses
Iron Lung Maiden
Otis Reading Glasses

O 'tis a lonely toil:

The Hip Replacements
Wheezer
The Wrinkult
The Cranky Mondays
The Bingo Arcade Fire
Muttering Heads
Professor Bluehair
Eh, Sonny? Volt
Merle Saggard
Patsy Recliner
Lay-Z
Black Rebel Winnebago Club

This crazy pace is killing me. I'm probably taking today off.

Don't let that stop YOU from contributing, though.

No, really, go ahead.

Perhaps this hiatus will be a bit more extended than just one day . . . .

You know, it's a sad fact that many tribute bands struggle to make ends meet. Some have even started resorting to corporate sponsorship to pay the bills:

Walmart of Voodoo
Fiat Duo Jets
Brita Sea Power
Old Spice Girls
Modern English Leather
Bananarama Republic
MeCelica
Earth, Wendy's & Fire
New Odereater
The Mrs. Smith's
Microsoft Cell

Hallmark and Oates

Earth, Wind and Firestone

(And that's not a euphemism.)

I'm going to go read about drunkenness.

On this subject, I prefer praxis over theory.

Also, nice work, TMK (or should I refer to you as Mr. Osner?). The Fall Fashions at Macy's is especially good.

Yeah I was pretty happy with that one myself.

The Rolling Rock Stones (there might be a more elegant way of doing this, where you combine "Rock" and "Stones")

Did you mean to say that the Rolling Stones rock? Everybody knows that, TMK.

More tribute bands on the corporate sponsorship gravy train:

Neutral Milky Way Hotel
Stone Rose's Lime Juice
T-Memorex
Sleater-Penney's
Sony! Soni! Soné!
The Kinko's
Black & Decker Sabbath
Xeroxie Music
Chicken of the Sea & Cake
Gary Numan's Own
Hole Foods

And more:

Big Starbuck's
Leonard Costcohen
They Might Be Green Giants
The Ocean Jet Blue
Kenny Gee Your Hair Smells Terrific
Ace of Bose
General Electric Light Orchestra
General Motörshead
The Volvo Underground and Geico
Hüsker Düpont
MötLe Creüset

But wait there's more:

KleenXS
Fatboy Slimfast
The Pussycat Dells
A Tribe Called Qwest
House of Hertz
Black Six Flags
Random Bauhaus
Heinz Ferdinand
Rainer Marie Callendar's
Radioshackhead
Blockbusta Rhymes

NOW how much would you pay?

Okay, just once more:

Midnight Oil of Olay
I Love You But I've Chosen Dockers
REIM
Pampers Van Beethoven
Cheraton
Cypress Hilton
Oingo Boeingo
Talking Head & Shoulders
MC Arm & Hammer
Bic Audio Dynamite
Papermates of State

Aw man, you did Oingo Boingo. I had been trying to come up with a good sponsor for them....

Aw man, you did Oingo Boingo. I had been trying to come up with a good sponsor for them....

That means I get the commission! Neener neener neener!

Ah what the hell. Once more couldn't hurt, right?

Huey Lewis and the US News & World Report
Newsweek Edition
The New York Times Dolls
Panasonic Youth
Mötley J. Crëw
Mr. Mister Clean
La-Z Boy George
Dixie Schicks
DraNo Doubt
Oreolab
KeeBlur

What about corporate folk? Nabisco Houston! Sam Goody's Guthrie!

Maybe just a few more:

The Carr's
Queens of the Vonage
20% Offspring Fashions at Nordstrom
Bellesouth and Sebastian
The Post-it Service
Yahootie & the Blowfish
The Google Dolls
New Keds on the Block
System of a Dow
The Red Hot Chili's Peppers
Old Navy 97s

<strike>N</strike>FS

The above would be a lot funnier if the strike function actually worked on this so-called "blog".

Y'all're unstoppable.

A Soccer Tribute Song that is also a Soccer Tribute Band:

Pretty Girls Make Saves

More bands:

The Goal Goals
Yello Card
The Beautiful Game South

gr-Gr ... hgrn ,,, hggg, hggggggun Ghun Hgunn, ?Hjurrm, Hejh, He-gr-Hjeremy.

The Monkees on Your Back
The dT's

Oh shit! I skipped over The dT's when I was reading M/tch's estimable post and thought I had come up with that cleverness on my own! Sorry M/tch.

Well if you must know, TMK, I came up with the Monkees one too, it just didn't make my cut. </asshole>

Actually, TMK, I appreciate all you've done for this thread. We're already a quarter of the way there, and I'm sure we'll make 1,000 comments eventually. Onward and upward!

[snurk] I'm so ashamed...

A good suspense movie for rehab patients is Hitchock's "The Twelve Steps".

Also Wilder's "The Found Weekend".

Or one can read "A Serenity Prayer for Owen Meaney".

Call me Ishmael. I'm an alcoholic.

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, and God grant me the wisdom to know the difference . . ."

Of course, watching re-runs of "One Day at a Time" is mandatory.

Cool, I was wracking my brains trying to come up with a Betty Ford reference.

Tribute bands for Hipublicans:

808 Red State
Culture Club for Growth
Talk Talk Radio
The K Streets
Rage For the Machine
The Bay City Holy Rollers
Right Wings
Guns 'n Moses
Starve the Beastie Boys
Whitehouse of Pain
Race of Base

Bruce Springsteen and the K Street Band

And, genre-bending, The Grover Norquist Big Band.

Green Vox Day

KD Grogan
Next of Malkin

Next of Malkin

Nice! I was trying to find a Malkin tribute band.

Distant Malkin also works -- there are a bunch of country bands with "Kin" in their name.

The Malkinks.

Alice in Cheneys

How about:

Flaming Libs
No Sex, Pistols
The Neokons
Guided by Vices (as in Vice Presidents)
Midnight Sun Oil
The MegaChurch
Liz Phair & Balanced
let them eat Cake

Um, don't know why I just thought of this, but back to Porn Tribute Bands for a minute (a.k.a The Rebirth of Tool):

The Butthole Suffers

Malkini Kill

Black Flag Burning Amendment
Angry Santorums
Wealth Cab for Lobby

(Chuckle)

Today's newest finds:

A Briber Called Norquist
Cheater Kinney
Votörfraud
Nixon Volt
Public Image Limited Government
Private Interest Unlimited
Culture of Corruption Club
Rice Cube
Steppenwolfowitz
The Bird Shot Cheney Peppered
The Exploiter
Mission of Burma Accomplished
Massive Untax
Social Security Distortion
Dittöhead
Rand Nubians

The Jesus and Mary Cheney
William Jeff Buckley
Deficit Hawkwind
Winger

Winger

Well if no-changers are fair game, then:

D.R.I.
Unsane
Dead Kennedys
Circle Jerks
Insane Clown Posse
Poison
The Presidents of the United States of America
Bad Religion
The Darkness
The Damned
. . .

The list is probably endless!

How could I forget?

Crony! Croni! Croné!

I think The Poorman posted about these two, and apostropher noted that apparently MiniKISS and LittleCrue have the exact same line-up, just different costumes and make-up.

There ya go -- the Clown is bad at remembering who has posted what in the past. I should prostrate myself before Gary.

Also: wasn't Mötley Crüe the same lineup as KISS in different costumes? Making the MiniKISS/LittleCrue thing completely authentic?

To join all the long threads together, in perfect harmony, here are some Obama/Antichrist and Persian/Parsi tribute bands:

Barack Sabbath
Alobama
The Obamas and the Papas
Dinosaur Jr. Senator for Illinois
Tool of Satan
World Parsi
The Parsyde
Missing Persians
Persian Whigs

And singles:

Like a Persian
Detroit Barack City
Paint it Barack
You Dropped Obama On Me

Weak offerings, I know, but it's for such a worthy cause!