Doggedly searching for the crux of the biscuit.
Occasionally a news article begins with such promise, there just isn't any way the rest of the piece can keep pace. First sentence:
This is the story of how a man's wayward quest to enlarge his penis landed him in federal court yesterday, pleading guilty to weapons of mass destruction charges.
Whoa! The long and short of it is that this fellow from (I kid you not) Reamstown, PA sent a letter bomb to a Chicago surgeon who had performed a penis enlargement operation on him, the results of which apparently left something to be desired. I haven't found any story that gets any more specific than calling the operation "botched" or "to put it mildly, there were complications."
TrackBackAnabaptism has got to enter into this story somehow. I'm betting this guy Steidler is a lapsed Mennonite.
Posted by: Teh Modesto Kid at April 7, 2006 01:22 PMYeah... note "from a devout Christian family". Under that innocuous phrase lies a world of hurt.
Posted by: The Modesto Kid at April 7, 2006 01:25 PMI think there may be a connexion between the story lede and this joke, "Vin Diesel once walked down the street with an erection. There were no survivors."
Anabaptism has got to enter into this story somehow. I'm betting this guy Steidler is a lapsed Mennonite.
Are the Mennonites well-known for coveting bigger Johnsons or something? I'm pretty sure they're not so much into the blowing people up thing.
Or is your guess just based on the location of the story?
And do they have a reputation for being better at screwing up their kids than does the general population?
Posted by: M/tch M/lls at April 7, 2006 07:14 PMAnd on a different note, how does a letter bomb get called a weapon of mass destruction? Do law enforcments types no longer understand plain English words?
Posted by: DW at April 8, 2006 12:05 AMObviously they performed what they thought was a routine penile transplant, but the big weener donor turned out to be a Montana Freeman or Al-Qaeda affiliate. The penis did what came naturally and the Mennonite just didn't know what he was doing. Luke Skywalker made an amazing documentary about it, only it was an eye in his case.
Posted by: rAD at April 8, 2006 02:06 AMApos mate
I hate these stories and have only pity for the poor insecure souls who submit themselves to butchers in order to get some love into their life.
(I know this is a best case scenario but not all of these guys can be crazy perverts).
Imagine being so desparate to be acceptable to a partner that you try to make your dick a little friendlier and then some clown butchers it.
I think most blokes would be thinking of revenge with extreme prejudice.
Off topic (and yes, despite this being a thinly disguised recruitment front for the Mineshaft, I know that comment threads here are held to a more rigorous standard of on-topicness than there), but HOLY SHIT!!?1!! have you seen this article?
It's time for a new Scumbag post, only "scumbag" is far too light a term for these f#$king insane-ass clownf*&king morons.
Posted by: M/tch M/lls at April 8, 2006 05:49 PMSpeaking of recruiting for the Mineshaft, is Unfogged down, or is it just that I personally have had my access cut off?
Posted by: M/tch M/lls at April 8, 2006 06:14 PMNo, it's down. I've been getting a 403 all day. When it was down a couple of days ago Becks said it was due to the spam filter. I've just been around the Mineshaft and nobody has anything to say about it.
Posted by: I don't pay at April 8, 2006 07:39 PMI've been getting a 403 all day.
And here I thought nothing was forbidden at the Mineshaft!
Posted by: M/tch M/lls at April 8, 2006 08:22 PM