Doggedly searching for the crux of the biscuit.
...in a big yellow schoolbus.
Michael Cianci, 38, of Parlin, N.J., named his ride the "Death Cheese Bus" and assigned ranks to his sixth-grade charges, forcing them every day to recite a set of rules posted by his cup-holder, according to the criminal complaint.
Cianci pleaded not guilty to two counts of endangering the welfare of children for allegedly allowing his toughs to push lower-ranking kids around, put them in headlocks and — in at least one instance — slice up a kid's jacket with scissors as punishment for horseplay. The 12-tiered ranking system ran from "Lord (apprentice of the Emperor)" to "Sped," a derogatory term for someone in special-education classes. Other ranks included the Star Wars-themed titles "Darth," "Sith Warrior" and "Jaba."
"As hereby proclaimed by Emperor Mike of the Death Cheese Bus, unit five, sector seven of the gamma system, these laws are laid down upon us to hold order and restore power," the bizarro list of rules stated. "The penalty for breaking this code is banishment. And for a ranking of master or above, the penalty is death or severe beating."
The list specified that the emperor was the supreme leader, accountable to no one, that all lords must obey "Lord Matt," the Darths must obey all lords, and the masters follow the commandments of the Darths. The wacko treatise closed with the ominous proclamation: "Mercy will not be tolerated."
(via kaus)
TrackBackOh, Jeez, that's the town where I was born!
I'd like to know if the kids who were roughed up were good kids or jerks. You read these stories and no one ever checks to see if maybe the little brats deserved it a little!
Posted by: Sheila at February 5, 2006 04:49 PMApos mate
The madness gripping your country is fear in search of a reason to hate.
This culture of violence is sewn into your Constitution and the threat of gun retaliation a constant factor in day-to-day life.
Weirdos like Cianci are a reflection of the authoritarian mindset promolgated by the Bush cabal's paranoid hysteria.
I think that everyone who admires America's good side is hoping that the culture of fascist proclivities will be reversed by the emergence of one good man; unfortunately, miracles seem a little rare these days.
I can assure you that these sorts of guys predate the Bush administration.
Posted by: apostropher at February 5, 2006 06:34 PMWeirdos like Cianci are a reflection of the authoritarian mindset promolgated by the Bush cabal's paranoid hysteria.
So it's Bush's fault, eh? Somehow, I doubt Cianci paid much attention to politics, or even current events.
As Chris Rock once asked about attempts to explain why the Columbine school shooters went on their rampage, "Whatever happened to crazy? Did we just get rid of crazy?"
Posted by: Gaijin Biker at February 5, 2006 07:17 PMThe guy is dangerously wacko and impressionable children were drawn into his little universe. Although authoritarianism is very pop right now, apostropher is right, these guys have been out there for a while. They are drawn to easy jobs with easy prey.
Haven't we all met (been at the mercy of) freaky bus drivers?
Posted by: Ru at February 6, 2006 12:31 AMDon't get me wrong, the guy's clearly an asshole and clearly deserves whatever he has coming but. . .didn't any paper besides the Post cover this? I mean, linking to a story that employs adjectives like "wacko" and "bizarro" kind of undercuts any perceived journalistic cred.
Posted by: plummet at February 6, 2006 09:50 AMdidn't any paper besides the Post cover this?
Yes. The Post doesn't have much journalistic credibility, but then I'm in it for the laughs, y'know?
Posted by: apostropher at February 6, 2006 10:04 AMGive the guy a break. Rags like the Post & the Daily News will crucify any one of us to sell a few papers. I'm sure its a whole lot of B.S. Unfortunately, assholes like you guys eat this shit up.
Posted by: tony at February 8, 2006 12:32 AMGive the guy a break.
GB, I think we found that crazy you (and Chris Rock) were looking for...
Posted by: Robust McManlyPants at February 8, 2006 04:37 PM