She has gained weight? Good grief, she looked like she was about to slip between the couch cushions and be forever lost to the world above as it was.

You can never be too careful. One minute you're a size zero, the next minute they're handing you a fake mustache and spirit glue for your new job as the Bearded Fat Lady at the circus.

Constant vigilance!

And that, I don't need to tell you, sucks.