7x7

There was a time, a time not so long ago, that I was pretty cocky about the fact that I barely ever got sick. As they say, pride goeth before the fall. I've been sick more in the past year than the previous 10 or 15 combined and all in all, I don't like it one bit. I'm up and out of bed today — at work, even, though a full day might prove a bridge too far. I suppose I could chalk all this up to a combination of approaching 40 and living with the world's most fearsome disease vector, a child in daycare. However, I'm sticking to my original theory that somebody is working roots on me. Whoever you are, please stop. I respect your power and will change my ways.

At some point during the fever-dreamed night, Robust McManlyPants tagged me with the 7x7 meme. [Aside: I have heard some very strange pronunciations of this word recently. It rhymes with scheme or theme, should proper English matter to you. And it should.] He doubted I would respond. Oh McManlyPants of little faith, have I not always been a generous apostropher unto thee?

Seven things to do before I die:

• Spend a month in Florence.
• Have sex in zero-gravity.
• See the Northern Lights.
• Go into a bar and order The Exorcist.
• Win the lottery.
• See Bush, Cheney, and Kissinger on trial in The Hague.
• Fulfill my lifelong dream of owning a dog that craps marijuana.

Seven things I cannot do:

• Draw anything convincingly.
  
• Dunk a basketball.
  
• Sing tenor.
  
• Convince my older son that I'm not a complete weirdo.
  
• Work retail without despising my fellow citizens.
  
• Resist delivering the punchline on an easy setup.
  
• Menstruate.

Seven things that attract me to blogging:

• Narcissism, naturally.
• Emailing the many bizarre links I feel people should see makes me feel like a spambot.
• The interactivity of it all (links, trackbacks, comments, etc.). I've made many good friends that I couldn't pick out of a lineup.
• I often use it as a scrapbook, to go back and see what I was thinking about two or three years ago.
• When a joke falls flat, there's no uncomfortable silence and polite smile.
• Doing my little bit to help subvert the dominant paradigm.
• All the easy money, free drugs, and hot groupies.

Seven things I say most often:

• [sigh] Goddammit.
• Has anybody seen my [keys/wallet/pants]?
• I'll bet you say that to all the pretty boys.
• ...and that's not a euphemism.
• I have to pee.
• Yes, and if frogs had wings, they wouldn't bump their butts so much.
• When I become king, the insurance executives will be the first ones against the wall.

Seven books that I love:

• The Cornish Trilogy by Robertson Davies.
• Midnight's Children by Salman Rushdie.
• Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal by Christopher Moore.
• Suttree by Cormac McCarthy.
• Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov.
• The Complete Poems and Plays, 1909-1950 by T.S. Eliot.
• The Complete Stories by Flannery O'Connor.

Seven movies that I watch over and over again:

Well now, this is tricky, since I don't really watch movies over and over again. The ones I could watch over and over without getting annoyed (which is not the same as my favorite movies):

• Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings Trilogy, just for the stunning New Zealand scenery.
• Baby Monet - Discovering the Seasons. This one I have watched over and over. Very pretty and puts both me and Noah to sleep.
• Martin Scorsese's The Last Waltz.
• Jeunet & Caro's Delicatessen.
• Krzysztof Kieslowski's Trois Couleurs trilogy.
• Terry Gilliam's Brazil.
• Danny Leiner's Dude, Where's My Car? You might think I'm kidding about this one, but I'm so totally not. I've listened to the director's commentary. Twice.

Seven people to whom I pass the meme:

• Platformless Jimmy
• Dugrless
• Random John
• Miniver Cheevy
• Erik that fears clowns
• Gaijin Biker
• SpaceTramp