Police Blotter

"A Boalsburg man was arrested early Monday after troopers said they found him naked and sucking on a nozzle of a kerosene pump at the Centre Hall Snappy's."

"A man and his pet wild pig facing eviction from their Boulder Creek home have eluded authorities - the man by running into the woods, and the pig by attacking deputies. [...] 'The pig, and I don't know her name, is aggressive,' sheriff's Sgt. Fred Plageman said. 'It seems to be a domesticated pig, and on past occasions it has chased deputies around and chewed up part of a patrol car.' "

"Two men were arrested for stealing a generator and an air compressor worth $1,400 from a truck parked at a home in the first block of Canterbury Drive. A neighbor told police he saw the men putting the items in a white truck and he wrote down the license plate as they drove away. Police used the license plate number to find the men, who said they had nothing to hide and allowed police to search their truck. When police found the stolen items, the men told them they took them because they were owed money for drugs."

"Mesa police arrested a man caught in the act of placing Polaroid photos of his genitals on vehicles."

"A man in the small Iron Range town of Gilbert, Minn., was being eaten alive in his home by rats, the caller [to 911] said. Skepticism turned to disbelief when they responded. More than 200 black rats — a colony originating from one pregnant pet-store type of rat that the mentally disabled man had taken in — had overrun the small house."

"On Sept. 25, numerous calls led police to the 3800 block of Prince. Reports stated that a woman was taking her shirt off and dancing in the street in front of a restaurant. The subject identified herself to officers but gave irrational details regarding where she was from, saying that she was 'praying' in the street and plugging her ears with her fingers when asked where she lived."

"The midnight shift manager at Summit View on Runyan Drive said a black male evacuee from Louisiana named Ira Lee has been staying in the home. She said he followed her around for an hour, and he advised he is a predator and he ran a white slave ring in Louisiana and preys on women. Police said Lee told them he is 'God' and would not give any further personal information. He said God was his lawyer and he would get the night shift manager fired. Police said they believe Lee needs a mental evaluation."

"The 'routine' traffic stop first took a turn when Miller learned that the Denison driver, 23, had outstanding warrants. He put him under arrest and into his patrol car, then made a pre-towing inventory search of his car. He found marijuana in the car, his report said. While searching the car, a Durant man, 41, walked up to Miller and said, 'I'm drunk in public and do what you need to do,' Hawley reported. Miller arrested that man on a charge of public intoxication and put him with the first man in the back of the patrol car. The two handcuffed men then got into an argument and both claimed they head-butted each other."

"Each time a deputy approached the minors, the man would interrupt, shouting profanities at the officers. The man was placed under arrest for obstructing the officers. After handcuffing the man, the deputies asked the minors where they got the beer. Both pointed to the 26-year-old man, who cried, 'Why are you ratting on me?' and then denied buying the beer. The officers explained that it did not matter who bought the beer, only that he had provided it, and cited him for furnishing alcohol to minors. The handcuffed subject was apparently not finished digging his own grave, and continued to yell: 'You cops are faggots and pussies…I tagged your fat wife…I’ll kick your ass.' The man then requested that the officers take off the handcuffs so he could challenge them to a duel."

And in legal news: no more wet T-shirt contests in Myrtle Beach, but live sex shows are A-okay in Oregon.