(Gr)assailant

I can't quite put my finger on it, but something in this story leads me to think this fellow isn't headed for a successful career as a criminal.

A 22-year-old man was wrestled to the ground in the Germantown Police Department Friday afternoon after threatening a dispatcher with a glass bong and a shotgun, police said. The man walked into the department and handed a threatening note to the dispatcher at a her window around 5 p.m., police said. As she read the note, he threw a glass bong at the bulletproof glass, police said. The bong shattered, but the window did not. He then pulled out a shotgun, but three officers using a taser and pepper spray were able to subdue him, police said.

"And if anybody tries to stop me, I'll temporarily blind 'em with a cloud of smoke and then poke their eyes out with my one-hitter."