Doggedly searching for the crux of the biscuit.
Prophet Yahweh put out a press release on Monday.
Prophet Yahweh was blessed to discover the lost, ancient art of summoning UFOs and spaceships on-demand. There is a difference between UFOs and spaceships. UFOs are usually small flying objects: glowing orbs, metallic spheres, satellite-type flying machines, etc. And, their flight patterns suggest that they are not of this world. But, spaceships are large futuristic vehicles that are clearly designed to carry passengers in like you see in the movies.
Since 1979, more than 1,500 UFOs and/or spaceships have appeared on Prophet Yahweh's signal before witnesses or at unawares. During this time, he was performing his summons privately with only those close to him as witnesses. But, starting June 1st until July 15th (45 days) Prophet is going public by opening up to the news media. He will demonstrate his ability to call down UFOs and spaceships, on-demand, for them to film and photograph.
Prophet is in direct telephatic contact with his space being friends. They have revealed that they will send UFOs as soon as Prophet starts asking for them to appear. Also, before the 45 day summoning period has ended, a spaceship will descend and sit in the skies over Las Vegas on Prophet's signal. The spaceship will hover in the sky, not far from Nellis Air Force base, for almost two days. All Las Vegans will be able to see it, day and night, before it goes back up into space.
Well now, that's going out on a limb, isn't it? Sign up at his website (where he explains that "[m]y name is Prophet Yahweh, and it means: 'prophet of YAHWEH' ") to see the streaming broadcasts of his summonings for the low, low price of $7.95 a month! And remember his three covenants with YAHWEH:
1. I promised to use the same rules the holy prophets abided by to summoned sightings from YAHWEH.
2. I have entered into a holy covenant with YAHWEH that's sealed by a vow of poverty.
As time went on, it dawned on me that all sightings, ever filmed, should belong to all people on earth and not to any single individual! Because of this, I made the following third covenant to the most holy and wonderful YAHWEH as follows:
3. I promised YAHWEH that if He considered my cause, and used me to make His UFOs and spaceships known to the world, that I would immediately donate all videos, He allows me to film, to the "Public Domain" and make them "Royalty Free."
Something tells me that Prophet Yahweh is going to disappear on May 31.
TrackBackIt's too bad his vow of poverty doesn't include an exception clause for prescription medication, y'know? Or is that what the $7.95 is for? YHWH bless the makers of generic antipsychotics.
Posted by: Robust McManlyPants at May 25, 2005 04:45 PMJohn, I found this story linked in the comments to a loosely related MetaFilter post.
Posted by: apostropher at May 26, 2005 10:49 AMAt first i didn't trust the guy but check this out!
mms://wm-ondemand.abacast.com/prophet_yahweh/ABCnews1.wmv
(paste into Windows Media Player)
Interesting developments. Prophet Yahweh appeared on Coast to Coast with George Noory on Friday night, May 29, 2005, for about an hour. Noory and others who have seen independently covered news films of his summonings are fascinated by this guy. PH claims he is working for Yahweh, a "king" of a powerful entity somewhere out of our solar system but within our galaxy. The whole story fits the early literal story of the Old Testament "God." PH claims that these superhuman beings are going to return to earth soon and he has been tapped to prepare the planet for their gradual appearances. He says they don't want to shock us too fast, so they are slowly emerging, which accounts for recent sitings and news of extraterrestrials, et al. In fact, he plans to summon craft to appear over Las Vegas (sic.) starting on June 1, 2005, and through the middle of July. At one point, he says, a gigantic craft will appear from above and hover for at least two full days over Las Vegas, visible to all! He says the smaller of the craft are not-"manned," but the large craft do carry beings. These beings are bringing a new and important message to earth, the stuff of science fiction and theology. Moreover, he has urged the nearby air force base not to fire on these craft. Hey, it's going to be interesting to see what this character is up to. I checked out an ABC news tape of a recent siting and, of course, from my armchair can not comment any further than to report what was shown, a golden orb coming directly from above. PH says the fact that these objects come from "above" proves that they are not fakes, which always ascend from the ground or horizon (e.g., balloons, earthcraft). I am critical of PH's charging a small fee ($7.95) to log onto his Web site, a fee he says covers his expenses until this thing can be adequately documented and the major news organizations get onto the story. He could make a lot of money very quickly and disappear, of course, which the cynic in me suspects is going to happen. Staying tuned....
Posted by: RWeller at May 28, 2005 01:34 PMHere's a clue boys and girls - why doesn't he ever call these things at night? Many people have witnessed glowing orbs at night, when the sun is no where in the sky and can't reflect off a big balloon. Now the only question is, how hard is it to get a balloon to move across the sky? And how many ways can it be done? Obviously just knowing the winds aloft that day would be one step in the right direction. Small radio-cotrolled flying models can be mounted with small jet engines as well as prop engines. SO the question is how hard would it be to mount small jets and a radio controlled device to a big balloon? I am sure those who deal with such model planes could tell the answer. So the next question is, if one invests say, $10,000 what kind of craft could one come up with to make films with?
Posted by: J E F at May 29, 2005 04:08 PMHere's a clue boys and girls - why doesn't he ever call these things at night? Many people have witnessed glowing orbs at night, when the sun is no where in the sky and can't reflect off a big balloon. Now the only question is, how hard is it to get a balloon to move across the sky? And how many ways can it be done? Obviously just knowing the winds aloft that day would be one step in the right direction. Small radio-cotrolled flying models can be mounted with small jet engines as well as prop engines. SO the question is how hard would it be to mount small jets and a radio controlled device to a big balloon? I am sure those who deal with such model planes could tell the answer. So the next question is, if one invests say, $10,000 what kind of craft could one come up with to make films with?
Posted by: Kartasik at May 29, 2005 04:10 PMObviously you are all playa hating on the brother. He has a talent and its documented by the media. Stop hating and start recognizing this man's gift!
Posted by: kahanyah at May 29, 2005 05:39 PMMan, what the hell WAS THAT?!?!?!
Started out laughing my ass off,
then started to feel very scared,
creepy.
Where did you fine that?
ps- I think we all wish for something spectacular
to happen in our lives, besides wars and other crappiness, but i am leary of anyone who calls himself a prophet(profit?) Especially one who takes gods name and trys to get you to pay for insight.
The people who pay for those videos can send them to us. Let's hope that the majority of the population can get them for free in the future. That's the way PH himself says it should be.
1Corinthians 14
Posted by: kmarinas86 at May 30, 2005 06:50 PMWell, if he says himself that they should be free,
then why is he charging $7.95 a month?
Sounds pretty hypocritical to me
he has to have them hosted somehow. As soon as CNN or fox news picks it up it will be legit.
Posted by: at May 31, 2005 12:44 AMDo those of you defending this man actually believe this crap!?
Prophet Yaweh continues to clarify that he is a
servant of God (Yaweh) yet the skeptics ignore his message while worshipping Popes and other
famous clergy. To beleive in Yaweh is to go diectly to the source; the Almighty, blessed be his name.
Looks like this WACKO is another false prophet. No craft hovering in the sky as he stated by July 15th. I listened to a 2 hour radio program featuring this phoney and he made absolutely NO sense at all. I'm sure he made plenty of money off of all the losers who believed in him.
Posted by: Kevin at July 15, 2005 10:05 PMOMFYahweh
Crack heads are getting pretty dam clever these days. He takes no salary, but he pays his Crack Pimp.
BS
Posted by: Haha at September 3, 2005 12:00 AM