Doggedly searching for the crux of the biscuit.
Burger King halfheartedly throws its hat in the ring.
On Monday, the No. 2 fast-food chain launches its Enormous Omelet Sandwich. How enormous? For those counting: one sausage patty, two eggs, two American cheese slices and three strips of bacon. On a bun. For those still counting, that's four layers of breakfast with 730 calories oozing 47 grams of fat. For about $2.99, depending on the market.
Pshaw. Enormous, that ain't. You guys have only barely clawed your way in front of McDonald's 720-calorie Big Breakfast Platter. My first plate at a Shoney's breakfast bar typically has four to five times that much meat, and I require multiple plates. The nutrition cops are, of course, aghast. "More calories and fat than a Whopper!" Yeah, but a Whopper isn't all that. I mean really, people: Hardee's Monster Thickburger has 1420 calories and 107 grams of fat, and that's their sixth 1000+ calorie sandwich. BK's new creation may as well be a spirulina-wheatgrass smoothie compared to real contenders like The Hamdog, which doesn't even bother with nutritional information because mathematics hasn't yet named numbers that large. If Burger King dipped the Enormous Omelet Sandwich in batter, deep-fried it, and sprinkled it with powdered sugar, then maybe, maybe, they'd have something to crow about.
Amateurs.
TrackBackThat's like 1/2 of a breakfast at Big Ed's in downtown Raleigh. Big deal.
Posted by: DrFrankLives at March 28, 2005 03:30 PMThe way they try to make the price sound like a good deal irritates me. Eggs, sausage, bacon, american cheese, and buns are some of the cheapest things around, especially if you buy the extra cheap quality like what you'll get at burger king.
Anyway, Apostro, I do hope you get your cholesterol checked regularly.
Posted by: Michael at March 28, 2005 03:44 PMWell I guess it depends on your definition of regularly, since I've never had it checked, under the philosophy of "what I don't know can't hurt me." I expect that philosophy to hold water right up until the massive coronary.
Posted by: apostropher at March 28, 2005 04:08 PMYou know, I just had my cholesterol checked, and it's fantastic, but that just made me think, "Great, so I get to die of cancer." So the coronary might not be such a bad idea. Just make sure it kills you.
Posted by: ogged at March 28, 2005 04:38 PMJust make sure it kills you.
But then Randall Terry wouldn't pray for me on the nightly news. I think you misunderstand my entire motivation here, Ogged.
Posted by: apostropher at March 28, 2005 04:40 PMI, for one, applaud apostropher's faith-based health plan. ;)
Seriously, I wouldn't want one all the time, but in the right frame of mind I could murder one of those breakfast sandwich things.
Posted by: Robust McManlyPants at March 28, 2005 08:24 PMBah, that's nothing. Ever heard of the Skookum Chief Burger at the Tomahawk Bar & Grill in North Vancouver, BC? Here: http://www.nardwuar.com/tomahawk/t-hawk.html
Hey 'er -
Since your blog is a favorite among procrastinators/office junkies like me, might I recommend this?
Posted by: John Johnson at March 29, 2005 03:07 PMI feel like I have to get a cholesterol test just from reading this.
Posted by: Ru at March 29, 2005 04:48 PM