Family values.

An attorney serving as VP of the Round Rock, Texas school board has gotten himself into a bit of trouble.

According to the warrant, Leigh Heavin of Round Rock called Copenhaver on Feb. 23 and asked if he could represent her husband in a criminal case. She told him that she did not have much money and asked if they could arrange a payment plan, according to the warrant. Copenhaver told Heavin that they could work something out and asked her if she had any good-looking friends, according to the warrant. He told her that he had fantasized about two women having sex together, according to the warrant.

The next day, Copenhaver came to Heavin's apartment shortly after her sister-in-law, Malinda Tilley, had dropped in, the warrant said. Unknown to Copenhaver, it said, Heavin's mental health caseworker, her mother and her husband were in a back bedroom. Copenhaver asked Tilley and Heavin to perform sexual favors for him, according to the warrant. When the women asked "what they would get out of this," Copenhaver said he would represent Heavin's husband, the warrant said.

At that point, the caseworker — from the Bluebonnet Trails Community Mental Health and Mental Retardation Center — and other family members emerged and called police, according to the warrant.

Oops. This being the internet-enabled 21st century and all, you can of course go to The Smoking Gun and read his arrest paperwork to get the specific sexual favors that Copenhaver requested, down toward the end of Page 2. Nothing particularly outré, except for that last request. As every regular reader is well aware, I've got a vivid and prurient imagination, but try as I might I can't figure out how that maneuver is even physically possible unless one of the women was either 1) a midget, 2) a world-class contortionist, 3) not bound by the laws of Newtonian physics, or 4) possessed of waist-length breasts.

Talk about your unreasonable legal fees...