apostropher: Is that a demon in your pants...

January 25, 2005

Is that a demon in your pants...

Posted by apostropher

...or are you just here for your mama? Oh man, but I live for stories like this.

A Sullivan County [Tennessee] judge threw out a case between a preacher and three feuding sisters and warned them to leave one another alone. All four faced assault charges that stemmed from a family scuffle and claims of being possessed by demons.
"This is the most ridiculous case I have ever seen in the court system," General Sessions Judge Bill Watson said Friday. "You people should be ashamed."

With a lead like that, you know I'm hooked. Note the ages of the folks involved here. God, I love the South in all its glorious grotesquery.

Reba Storey, 46, alleged the Rev. Clarence "June" Love, 83, called her demon-possessed and twisted her arm when he threw her out of church Jan. 9. Storey and her sister Mary Steele, 64, showed up a the Assemblies of Jesus Church wearing blue jeans to see their 88-year-old mother, Maude Yates. The church that has a total of four members forbids women to wear pants.
"He said, 'You're not wearing pants in my church, you demon,'" Storey said. "I said, 'I'm so glad I serve a God who can work through my pants.'" Love's girlfriend and a sister to the two women, 68-year-old Rosa Harrison, said the women grabbed their mother, shoved everyone else out of the way and tried to carry her out the door.

"You're not wearing pants in my church, you demon." I used to hear that a lot growing up. However, it was generally expressed in a surprised manner rather than as a command.

Love said he plans to return to his church, where he says the sisters have driven away the congregation. The preacher wouldn't say whether he still thought Storey was possessed. [...] Storey said she plans to continue her case in civil court. "Do I look like I have a demon?" she said. "That's defamation of character."

Sweet.

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Comments

*laughs* and *snap snap snap* :D What a way to start my way--move over Folgers!

Posted by: Karyn at January 26, 2005 08:48 AM

Gah. i mean day. Must still be too early.

Posted by: Karyn at January 26, 2005 08:49 AM

If stuff like that ever happened when I went to church, I'd have gone more. Or ever. Oh, wait, I'm wearing jeans AND I have a tatoo of a devil on my back. Guess that means I'm a demon. Sweet.

Posted by: Steph at January 26, 2005 10:22 AM

Hey - does that mean you're making offers on souls? Is there an a la carte menu for demonic embuements? I want in on the ground floor!

Posted by: Robust McManlyPants at January 26, 2005 11:12 AM

Went to college in Manhattan, Kansas (Go Wildcats!) and we had a preacher in Topeka, "Reverend" Fred Phelps, that used to search for opportunities to protest gay men and women. He and his church would target an individual, business or event and walk around with some really hateful signs (just let your mind wander...). He even went so far as to show up at the funeral of a young man, Matthew Shepard, who died of AIDS (gained some national attention on that one). Thing is that his "church" consisted of 13 members (13... gotta love it!) and they were all family members! So who's the demon?!!!

Found a quick link about a meeting between Fred Phelps and Michael Moore just after the funeral of Matthew Shepard. Click here if you're interested.

Posted by: VARepublicMan at January 27, 2005 07:33 PM

Is this the guy who runs http://www.godhatesfags.com (or .org)? I think he protested my graduation, or maybe some other UNC graduation. The protest went over like a lead balloon. I'm not sure he generated any lawsuits that day. They looked rather pathetic.

Posted by: John Johnson at January 27, 2005 08:44 PM

Yeah, John, that was him - he protested our graduation alright. I made sure my parents didn't show until after he was gone because I didn't want to have to make the campus cops try to pry my mother's fist out of Phelps' caved-in skull.

And yes, Phelps runs godhatesfags.com. In late '99, someone managed to social-hack his registrar (via a faked email) to get godhatesfags.com repointed to a Christian gay rights group's site: godlovesfags.com. It was beautiful. They stated very clearly, once they realized what was happening, that they did not arrange the hack and had no knowledge of it other than that the Lord's hand must obviously have been involved. ;)

Posted by: Robust McManlyPants at January 28, 2005 10:18 AM

The whole story is hilarious, but my favorite line was "I'm so glad I serve a God who can work through my pants".

I am curious about the Pants ministry, and wish to learn more about it. I can probably get behind a God who works through pants.

Posted by: maurinsky at January 28, 2005 02:30 PM

HEY, I LIVE IN BRISTOL AND I HAVE BEEN TO CHURCH WITH SEVERAL OF THE PEOPLE INVOLVED. IM NOT SURE REVEREND LOVE WASN'T RIGHT ABOUT REVA. SHE IS A NUT! HOWEVER, I BELIEVE THE PROBLEMS THEY WERE HAVING WAS BECAUSE ONE OF THE SISTERS WOULDN'T LET THE OTHER SISTERS SEE THEIR MOTHER. ALSO, I BELIEVE THE OLDER SISTER WAS CHARGED WITH ASSAULT FOR ATTACKING THE OTHER 2 WHEN THEY TRIED TO VISIT FOR CHRISTMAS. MY FAMILY DON'T ALWAYS GET ALONG BUT AT LEAST WE NEVER BEAT EACH OTHER UP WITH OUR MOMMA'S CANE.

Posted by: BRISTOL NATIVE at April 22, 2005 02:10 PM