Doggedly searching for the crux of the biscuit.
...or are you just here for your mama? Oh man, but I live for stories like this.
A Sullivan County [Tennessee] judge threw out a case between a preacher and three feuding sisters and warned them to leave one another alone. All four faced assault charges that stemmed from a family scuffle and claims of being possessed by demons.
"This is the most ridiculous case I have ever seen in the court system," General Sessions Judge Bill Watson said Friday. "You people should be ashamed."
With a lead like that, you know I'm hooked. Note the ages of the folks involved here. God, I love the South in all its glorious grotesquery.
Reba Storey, 46, alleged the Rev. Clarence "June" Love, 83, called her demon-possessed and twisted her arm when he threw her out of church Jan. 9. Storey and her sister Mary Steele, 64, showed up a the Assemblies of Jesus Church wearing blue jeans to see their 88-year-old mother, Maude Yates. The church that has a total of four members forbids women to wear pants.
"He said, 'You're not wearing pants in my church, you demon,'" Storey said. "I said, 'I'm so glad I serve a God who can work through my pants.'" Love's girlfriend and a sister to the two women, 68-year-old Rosa Harrison, said the women grabbed their mother, shoved everyone else out of the way and tried to carry her out the door.
"You're not wearing pants in my church, you demon." I used to hear that a lot growing up. However, it was generally expressed in a surprised manner rather than as a command.
Love said he plans to return to his church, where he says the sisters have driven away the congregation. The preacher wouldn't say whether he still thought Storey was possessed. [...] Storey said she plans to continue her case in civil court. "Do I look like I have a demon?" she said. "That's defamation of character."
Sweet.
TrackBack*laughs* and *snap snap snap* :D What a way to start my way--move over Folgers!
Posted by: Karyn at January 26, 2005 08:48 AMIf stuff like that ever happened when I went to church, I'd have gone more. Or ever. Oh, wait, I'm wearing jeans AND I have a tatoo of a devil on my back. Guess that means I'm a demon. Sweet.
Hey - does that mean you're making offers on souls? Is there an a la carte menu for demonic embuements? I want in on the ground floor!
Posted by: Robust McManlyPants at January 26, 2005 11:12 AMYeah, John, that was him - he protested our graduation alright. I made sure my parents didn't show until after he was gone because I didn't want to have to make the campus cops try to pry my mother's fist out of Phelps' caved-in skull.
And yes, Phelps runs godhatesfags.com. In late '99, someone managed to social-hack his registrar (via a faked email) to get godhatesfags.com repointed to a Christian gay rights group's site: godlovesfags.com. It was beautiful. They stated very clearly, once they realized what was happening, that they did not arrange the hack and had no knowledge of it other than that the Lord's hand must obviously have been involved. ;)
Posted by: Robust McManlyPants at January 28, 2005 10:18 AMThe whole story is hilarious, but my favorite line was "I'm so glad I serve a God who can work through my pants".
I am curious about the Pants ministry, and wish to learn more about it. I can probably get behind a God who works through pants.
HEY, I LIVE IN BRISTOL AND I HAVE BEEN TO CHURCH WITH SEVERAL OF THE PEOPLE INVOLVED. IM NOT SURE REVEREND LOVE WASN'T RIGHT ABOUT REVA. SHE IS A NUT! HOWEVER, I BELIEVE THE PROBLEMS THEY WERE HAVING WAS BECAUSE ONE OF THE SISTERS WOULDN'T LET THE OTHER SISTERS SEE THEIR MOTHER. ALSO, I BELIEVE THE OLDER SISTER WAS CHARGED WITH ASSAULT FOR ATTACKING THE OTHER 2 WHEN THEY TRIED TO VISIT FOR CHRISTMAS. MY FAMILY DON'T ALWAYS GET ALONG BUT AT LEAST WE NEVER BEAT EACH OTHER UP WITH OUR MOMMA'S CANE.
Posted by: BRISTOL NATIVE at April 22, 2005 02:10 PM