Doggedly searching for the crux of the biscuit.
Whaddayknow? The Poor Man and I share the very same FAVORITE THING EVER: "getting pious lectures from devout Christians who haven't even bothered to read the Cliff Notes to the Bible. And it happens constantly."
Oh god, does it ever. And if you ever needed an excuse to read the Bible, this is it: eventually, you will make a hollering thumper's head explode when you drive the lane and throw down thundering scriptural dunk after thundering scriptural dunk. Spectators will actually applaud. You'll feel like Ali taunting Ernie Terrell. "What's my name?" Okay, before you read any further, go read the post and the comments too, because taken together, they are the funniest thing you'll read for weeks - especially when the Lord sayeth "it's your chance to do the dance they call the Hump." All the prophets in the top ten, please allow me to bump thee.
Speaking as a long-backslid Baptist who spent many childhood Sundays doing Bible drills, let me make this perfectly clear: if you can't even get the scriptural references right when you're lecturing me about my need to live more biblically, I will follow you all the way home mocking you at the top of my lungs.
TrackBackI have found that one needs only an acquaintance with the sermon on the mount.
Those few pages turn you into Dorothy with a pail of water.
But your opponent will not scream "I'm melting, I'm melting" as they melt. Which sort of takes all the fun out of it.
One of my favorite tactics is to ask the Bible-thumper if they believe the creation story in Genesis. When they say "Yes," I ask "Which one?"
A careful reading reveals two creation narratives, back-to-back, but written at different times by different writers, and clearly contradictory and mutually exclusive.
Maybe that woman who sings showtunes to them should start using the songs from Godspell, Jesus Christ Superstar, and Joseph & the Technicolor Dreamcoat. Sort of a combination approach.
Posted by: Mitch Mills at November 13, 2004 02:52 PMYou know...I really DID once get biblical in a Burger King bathroom...
Posted by: Mr. Sticky at November 15, 2004 02:32 AM...after reading the link...my response appears to be HOPELESSLY dated and derivative.
*sigh*
Posted by: Mr. Sticky at November 15, 2004 03:38 AMI believe that was in the Terrell fight. I remember that Ali kept Terell around just to beat the snot out of him.
I ran "What's my name" on Google and stopped at the first site that supported me..
"What's my name, fool? What's my name?"
What Ali kept yelling while winning a 1967 decision against Ernie Terrell, who had insisted on calling him Cassius Clay.
Muhammad Ali
Eek. You're right. Liston was three years earlier and Ali called him "a big, ugly bear." Please disregard anything I say ever.
Fixed now.
Posted by: apostropher at November 15, 2004 10:17 AMMaybe her point was that if you force HOMOgenation then you can't separate oil from water or religion from politics?
Nah, she's not that smart.
Posted by: Tripp at November 15, 2004 12:02 PMShe also said that 60% of Americans were opposed to abortion. Actually, I think she has that exactly wrong.
Posted by: Austin Train at November 15, 2004 07:13 PMWell, it always depends on how you phrase it. I'm opposed to abortion, but I never want it to be illegal.
Posted by: Uncle Mike at November 16, 2004 11:18 PM