Redistricting

Ken Layne is shrill.

Back in the mid-1980s, I thought I was witnessing the peak of Jesusland and its hold on politics -- the time of Jerry Falwell, the Moral Majority, etc. That version of Jesusland did crumble under the weight of its own sins & scams, but the new Jesusland is even stronger, and totally decentralized -- these people don't even belong to a known religion, like the Catholics or the Methodists; they literally just make the shit up and call it a church. While there is no headquarters for Jesusland, all of its subjects do march at the command of the RNC and Karl Rove.

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I've never had a problem with actual conservatives, because actual conservative thought -- as defined by William F. Buckley, Barry Goldwater, etc. -- is just a way of looking at the role of government. Hell, I've had a lot more trouble with True Believer Liberal Democrats, always telling me what to eat and oh that song is sexist and that's not funny. There just aren't that many actual conservatives. (If there were, Mr. TaxCut-and-Spend wouldn't be reading his Victory Prayer on teevee today.)

But I've got a big problem with Jesusland. If you want to worship the ghost of a jew from the Roman Empire, that's cool. Enjoy it! But when you people and your bizarre mystery cult claim the goddamned president as your prime convert who rules by the voices in his head, I call bullshit. I don't care so much about party politics, but I will fight long and hard to prevent this country from becoming a Complete Theocracy -- if you can call the intellectually vapid mishmash of evangelical Christianity a true Theology. Or, maybe you people just take Jesusland. You won't need the economic power of the coasts, because you don't care if you're employed. Your entire economic output will be shoddy Jesus booklets, Christian rock and bad food. It'll be great.

As for the United States of NonJesusland -- Canada can join if it wants, as long as the Canadians behave -- you people are going to have to learn that not everybody is a leftist. I'm talking to you, San Francisco. New York City is a good model; Berkeley is not. Anytime a do-gooder liberal tries to tell me not to smoke, or not to have guns, or not to laugh at people, I will respond with the well known put-down, "Go back to Jesusland." And that's how the USNJ will remain a confederation of fun.

A more perfect union, indeed.