Crasstastic

The inevitable GOP 9/11 pimping got underway at Madison Square Garden last night. If Republican delegates are puzzled at the hostility emanating from the city, try to imagine the Democrats holding their convention in Houston (if Houston had 11x as many people) under similar circumstances. Right. From tonight's Daily Show:

Jon Stewart: What did you make of last night's focus on September 11th?

Steven Colbert: Well, remember, John, 9/11 and its aftermath bring to mind a time of unprecedented national unity, when from the crucible of an unthinkable tragedy there arose a steely patriotism transcending ideology and partisanship. That stuff kills in the swing states. Those NASCAR dads suck it down in a feeding tube.

JS: So you had no problem with it?

SC: Jon, I found it crass-tastic. The message was delivered by Republicans' most popular figures, John McCain and Rudolph Giuliani, two men of bravery and leadership, qualities the president would very much like associated with him.

JS: Well, Steven, let me ask you this: what is tonight's theme?

SC: Tonight, Jon, they took last night's theme, A Bush Victory Would Bring Closure to the 9/11 Families, and built on it with a theme of Compassion. We heard from widows, orphans, the enfeebled, the limbless, all raising their voice in support of the president whose compassion, like the Olympics, triumphantly springs forth every four years. You see, it all goes with the overall theme of this convention: A Time for Unmitigated Gall.

JS: But Steven, to be perfectly fair, aren't all political conventions manipulative?

SC: No, Jon. To call this convention manipulative is to call Marcel Marceau a little quiet. These people are artists operating at the peak of their abilities. For example, take Thursday night's theme: Fuck You, What Are You Going to Do About It?

JS: That can't be right. Steven, that sounds absolutely awful.

SC: Yeah but, you know, fuck us. What are we gonna do about it?