"The first seafood restaurant on Mars"

If you weren't certain that NASA deserves a budget boost, this should get you off the fence.

Press release headline: IF NASA FINDS CONCLUSIVE EVIDENCE OF AN OCEAN ON MARS, AMERICA EATS FREE GIANT SHRIMP

"We have closely followed NASA's recent exploration of Mars and all of us are rooting you on to find ocean water on the Red Planet," Davis wrote. "The 'Free Giant Shrimp' offer is our way of saying NASA's exploration of Mars and the discovery of ocean water would be 'one small step for man, one giant leap for seafood.'"

In the letter, Davis also officially registered interest in Long John Silver's becoming the first seafood restaurant on Mars. "It's not a matter of 'if,' it's just a matter of 'when' human beings are able to live permanently on Mars. Long John Silver's mission is to feed people with delicious seafood wherever they are -- on earth or even outer space."

"We are strongly behind NASA's efforts to find conclusive evidence of an ocean on Mars for two reasons," said Mike Baker, Chief Marketing Officer for Long John Silver's, Inc. "As Americans, we're proud of NASA's exploration of space; as the world's most popular quick-service seafood chain, we get excited about ocean water, wherever it is. If there's ocean water on Mars, that would be giant news. And giant news calls for Giant Shrimp!" Long John Silver's new Giant Shrimp are huge, measuring nearly a half-foot long. "Our new Giant Shrimp are so big, they're really 'out of this world,'" said Baker.

Consumers can buy the new Giant Shrimp at the chain's more than 1,250 restaurants beginning February 16, 2004. If NASA announces the discovery of conclusive evidence of an ocean on Mars prior to February 29, 2004, America gets free Giant Shrimp at participating Long John Silver's restaurants on Monday, March 15, 2004, from 2 p.m. until 5 p.m.

The Long John Silver's executives quoted in this press release were subsequently arrested on anti-torture laws relating to their treatment of that analogy.