Doggedly searching for the crux of the biscuit.
No, not Bush - and would everybody please retire that bit of nasty hyperbole? Aside from being stupid and inaccurate, it also pretty much invalidates any worthwhile points that might follow it. No, I'm referring to myself. Not the goose-stepping, mass-murdering Nazi type, mind you - I'm referring to the Grammar Nazi variety.
You've probably ascertained that I spend a pathetically large amount of my free time reading on the internet. The advent of web publishing is a beautiful thing, a true democratization of information. Unfortunately, however, since any monkey with a keyboard can slap up a website (hang on, let me finish this banana . . . ok, sorry 'bout that), there has been a stunningly steep and sudden slide in standards with regard to the proper use of the English language. I'd just like to list a few of my pet peeves, if you don't mind.
On second thought, I don't care if you mind. It's my damn website.
1. Top of the list (for obvious reasons) is improper apostrophe usage. Bob the Angry Flower gives a gruff rundown of the rules. A more polite guide is available from the Apostrophe Protection Society.
1a. Please take care with it's and its. If you can't substitute "it is" or "it has" in the place of your "it's," then you are looking for "its." Possessive for "it" does not use an apostrophe. It's likely that this rule deserves its own number.
Aside: after writing apostropher for nine months, I am now completely incapable of typing the word apostrophe without having to go back and delete the letter r at the end of it. The one time on this page that I did not type an r at the end, I reflexively backspaced over the e.
2. They're going to put their shoes over there.
3. You're going to put your shoes beside the ewer.
4. When somebody says one thing while doing its opposite, they're engaging in "hypocrisy." There is no such word as "hypocracy." By its Greek roots, however, if such a word did exist it would mean something along the lines of either "governmental rule from underneath" or "a shortage of governmental authority." Libertarians believe in hypocracy; Republicans believe in hypocrisy.
5. You lose (pronounced luze) something when you misplace it. You loose (pronounced luce) something when you set it free or relax it. Loose can be used as an adjective, lose cannot. This actually irks me more than gratuitous apostrophes. Once again, the word that is pronounced luze does not contain a second o.
6. Please re-read Rule 5.
7. The word "grammar" does not contain the letter e.
8. "Kewl" and "LOL" are not English words, no matter how often you may see them online.
9. Sentences begin with capital letters unless you really, really know what you are doing and are employing non-standard capitalization for effect.
10. Sentences do not end in prepositions unless you are writing dialogue.
Sorry, I just had to vent and now I feel better. Feel free to go back to mangling the mother tongue now.
TrackBackUp with this I will not put!
Seriously, I agree with every one of your rules, even Rule 6, but I would add one:
11. Never, ever break the rules if you don't know what they are!
When rule 11 is violated, it's not "style," it's "illiteracy."
I endeavor to speak using proper written English grammar. I am also called a Grammar Nazi, and the insult really gets my panties in a bunch. As I recall, most National Socialists didn't even speak English, never mind the fact that the hurler of this epithet is equating propriety with fascism.
http://www.findarticles.com/cf_0/m1111/1811_302/72732951/print.jhtml
is an superb article on the current state of the language, and prefers the word "snoot" to "nazi."
I'd better stop writing before I make an error.
Thank god for your mention of rule 5. I was definitely losing it. I think that's the number one mistake I see on the internet.
Rule 11. Punctuation for use with quotations. The period at the end of a sentence is contained within the quotation marks; ditto for commas.
A key problem with quotation marks is which other marks of punctuation go inside the closing quotation mark(s) and which belong outside. In the United States, most stylebooks and most editors follow these rules: periods and commas belong inside, colons and semicolons outside. Other marks—question mark, dash, and exclamation point, for example—go inside when they belong with the quoted material, outside when they belong to the main sentence. British editorial conventions differ.- The Columbia Guide To Standard English
I see violations of this everywhere, even with stuff posted by folks with post-graduate degrees.
Posted by: Tom Burka at September 13, 2003 10:33 AM12. And never begin a sentence with "And". It is indicative of separated sentence fragments.
Posted by: Steve Jones at September 16, 2003 10:46 PMI fully enjoy "Many a Slip"
Which nitpicks grammar for points.